


Change My Mind

by fleeting_fireworks



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Frat Boy Niall, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleeting_fireworks/pseuds/fleeting_fireworks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As an aspiring artist, Zayn enters his first year of college thinking it's going to be a breeze. But when he butts heads with the loud and energetic boy who lives next door with a habit of playing guitar at odd hours of the night and partying five out of seven days of the week, he starts to think that maybe college isn't all it's cracked up to be -- it's more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing fanfiction so certainly I hope that this passes as satisfactory :)

    Zayn reached into the bag of chips at his feet and popped another one in his mouth, the tangy barbecue taste sending his hungry taste buds into a frenzy. The living room was completely silent except for the sound of a Lifetime movie blaring on the television and he pulled the blanket tighter around him. It was Thanksgiving weekend so he had the week off from classes which meant he could spend all his free time bumming around the house, painting, watching television, and eating junk food. He was happy about that three days ago when it first started but by now he was getting bored without his classes to keep him busy. His roommate, a quiet boy named Liam, had flown home to Wolverhampton to see his family while he had the time, leaving Zayn alone in the house they shared. Zayn usually liked his alone time but not when it started to get to the point where he felt lonely. Regardless of any social issues one might have, no one liked to be alone.  
    

The movie went on commercial and Zayn muted the volume, the room going silent. Only one light was on, a small lamp on the table directly behind the sofa, so the room was dim, the television providing most of the light. He finished off the chips—wiping his orange fingers on a towel—and folded up the bag, tossing it into the kitchen. He aimed roughly in the direction of the trash bin but it missed, bouncing off the rim. He sighed, pulling at his falling quiff, not in the mood to get up and get it. He was too comfortable. When a car insurance commercial came on, Zayn noticed the heavy pounding of loud music coming from next door. He leaned a little to the left and glanced out the four pane window next to the television. He frowned when he saw pulsing lights and a shitload of people hanging around outside the house next door, separated from his by only a white picket fence.

    As luck would have it, at the beginning of the year a fraternity group moved in next door, making the house their frat house. Zayn was pissed when he first found out. How was he supposed to study and concentrate on his painting when the neighbors were always partying? But he'd been lucky up until now. For the first few months they'd been there, there hadn't been a single party. But tonight, they decided to change that, obscene rap music blaring from the open windows. Zayn furrowed his brows, knowing he'd miss the cool breeze if he closed the window but he also knew that if it was closed, it would help block out the music. He raised the volume on the television as the movie came back on and he got up off the couch to close the window. His heart leaped in his throat when someone hopped the fence and threw their solo cup of beer at the window just as it closed, beer running down the spotless glass. Zayn bit his lip, weighing his options, before he threw off the blanket and laced up his combat boots. He was going to go over there and sort these people out. It was ten o'clock on a Friday night, yes Zayn understood that partying was the go-to activity on nights like tonight but if these people wanted to party, there were going to have to take it elsewhere. Zayn wasn't going to put up with it.  
   

  He threw open the front door, grabbing his leather jacket from the hook as he stepped onto the porch, locking the door behind him. He shoved his hands into his pockets to protect them from November's chill as he pushed open the gate with his thighs, kicking it closed to where it latched with his foot once he was on the sidewalk. He pulled the grey beanie from his pocket to make more room for his hand and positioned it on his head to keep the cold out of his ears and the heat in his body, since most of it was lost through the head.  
    

He mumbled under his breath as he marched over to the house next door, fighting sweaty bodies of countless people who really should have been wearing coats but he wasn't going to meddle in these people's lives, given that they returned the favour and didn't meddle in his. Which, he felt that at this moment in time, they _weren't_ doing. He sidestepped around someone who was obviously piss drunk and _this_ close to throwing their beer on him as he made his way up the creaky wood steps, that he knew from seeing them in the daylight, were pale blue and flaky. He gripped the white handrail as someone flew from the house, naked, and out into the biting cold air. _Damn_ , Zayn thought as he knocked on the dark red door, _these people are out of their fucking minds._ He returned his hands to their previous position in his pockets as someone stumbled out the door, probably more of coincidence rather than to answer the door. Zayn grabbed their arm anyway, effectively stopping them. He noticed it was a boy his age with feathery blonde hair and a green sweater on, beer spilled down the front even though he appeared to be sober. Zayn recognised him as the owner of the house before it turned into a frat house. He'd been living next to the boy for a while now and never once did he ever speak to him. He'd spoken to frat types before and he wasn't going there again. But tonight was an exception.

  

  "Excuse me," Zayn said, frowning to show he was upset even though the boy probably couldn't see his face too well in the dark. "Are you aware that you have neighbors?"

   

The boy nodded, a cheeky grin playing on his pink lips as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his denim jeans, his thumbs out, pointing towards his crotch. "Of course I am. I'm not a dumbass."

  

"Good. Then you'll be able to understand what I'm about to tell you," Zayn said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

  

 The boy nodded, rocking back on his heels. "Alright, mate. What seems to be the problem? Not enjoying the party?"

 

  "I'm _not_ attending the party," Zayn growled. "I live next door. I'm trying to enjoy my Friday night but I can't because you're throwing this obnoxious get-together."

  

The boy grinned. "Get-together? I like your choice of words, mate. How come we've never spoken?"

  

Zayn shrugged, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't know. Maybe because you're an arrogant asshole?"

  

The boy frowned, a hand going to his hair. "That's not very nice."

  

"Well," Zayn said, swearing as he was knocked aside by someone eager to refill their cup. "I'm not happy right now."

 

  "How can I help, then? Want a beer?"

  

"I don't drink," Zayn informed him. "Just turn down the damn music and try to end this shindig before midnight. Got it? I have somewhere to be tomorrow."

  

The boy paused a moment before he nodded. "Alright. Midnight. Got it. Soda, then?"

  

Zayn tugged at his beanie. "I'm _not_ attending your shit party so just fuck off, will ya? I'm going home. Oh, and tell your dumbass guests to stay off my property."

  Zayn huffed as he walked away, even more pissed than he was when he left. He'd spent probably twenty minutes over there and he didn't accomplish anything. And to make things worse, the boy had an _I don't give a shit about anyone but myself_ attitude which probably meant he was going to disregard everything Zayn just told him. Fuming as he entered his yard, Zayn decided to make a cup of tea to warm up and calm himself down. He closed the front door behind him and hung his coat back up, sliding off his boots. He rubbed his cold hands together as he walked into the kitchen, grabbing the tea kettle from the rear burner of the stove, moving it to the front and turning it on. He grabbed the box of tea from the cupboard and glanced out the window above the sink. More people were headed to the party next door, appearing to be drunk before they even got there. Zayn shook his head as he filled the kettle with water.

_People these days._

  

While he waited for the water to heat up, he knelt down to look in the lower cupboards for the box of cookies he'd bought last week but had yet to open. They were Graham cookies with a chocolate bottom, as well as it being striped over top. They were his favorite and he always hid them from Liam when he was around. Liam was a total health nut and rode Zayn's ass all the time about the shit he was putting into his body. Zayn just tuned him out and thought about what he was going to draw next.  
  

The kettle screeched on the burner and Zayn moved it to the back while he grabbed his mug, filling it up about an inch from the rim and dropping in his tea bag. He moved into the living room, putting his mug on the table and curling back up into the blanket. His movie was over and another had started but he'd already seen it so he shut off the television, opting to finish his tea in the dark.

 

   When Zayn woke up the next morning on the couch, his mug had fallen off the table and shattered, spilling the remaining few drops of his tea onto the hardwood floor. He groaned as he turned away from it, and the light streaming in through the window, and buried his face in the back of the couch. He'd slept with his beanie on so he had a severe case of hat hair and his bare chest had lined imprints in it from the fabric of the couch cushions. It was warm and stuffy in the den but atleast he'd managed to go another night without contracting a cold or a mild case of the sniffles. The only thing worse than going to bed angry was waking up sick.  
   

Deciding it was time to start his day, he rolled off the couch, falling before he could stop himself and landing on the floor, his crumpled up skinny jeans cushioning the blow to his head. He groaned as he pushed his hair back off his forehead, sitting up. His tight black boxer shorts had chip crumbs stuck to the ass and the orange dust was tainting the material. He stoop up, bending over to pick up his shirt and jeans to put them in the wash bin. He grabbed the small broom and dustpan from the sink cupboard and knelt down to scoop up the pieces of the mug. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants he had hanging over the couch and walked out onto the porch in only the pants and socks, his chest bare. The air was chilly and his nipples hardened to try and preserve heat and he instantly regretted leaving the house without a shirt. He walked down the steps, his _not_ flaky, and down the footpath towards the green garbage can on the curb. He opened the lid and paused, looking over his shoulder when he heard laughter next door. There was people asleep on the porch swing, light blankets the only thing between them and the early morning air. The blonde boy from last night was sitting on the porch stoop, talking to someone on the phone. He laughed at something the other person said and glanced in Zayn's direction, his eyes raking up and down his body, a shiver of a smile on his chapped lips.

  

The smile reminded Zayn of the one you'd see in an amateur horror movie where the antagonist knew something the main character didn't. When Zayn turned around to head back inside, he saw that it _was_ exactly like that. He looked at his house, eyes stopping at the roof before moving down again. After he went to bed last night, the boy and his shitty friends must have come over to show him they were superior or some shit because his house was covered in eggs and toilet paper. Zayn's blood boiled and he was no longer cold as his hands curled into fists around the dustpan. He glared over at the boy who was turned away, his hand covering his laughing lips because he knew what he did and he'd gotten the reaction he wanted. Zayn picked up on that and loosened his grip, trying to relax. He shook his head, breathing in deep as he stepped forward to go back inside, avoiding looking at the boy as he went. As it turned out, Zayn was right last night. The boy did _not_ turn down the music and the party did _not_ end at midnight. By the time the music was turned down and some of the guests left, it had to have been somewhere around four in the morning. Zayn got hardly a wink of sleep last night and he was seriously considering wringing that boy's pale ass neck.  
   

He threw the dustpan and broom back in the cupboard and grabbed the vacuum from the hall closet, preparing to clean away his rage. He slipped off his sweatpants and tossed them over the couch once again so he could sweep in only his boxers because vacuuming made him warm. He reached down to plug the cord in and switched it on, the sound filling the room. He moved it back and forth, muttering under his breath. _That damn boy_ , he grumbled. _Keeping me up all night just so he can drink and party all night with his_ shit _friends at his_ shit _house at all hours of the fucking night_. Zayn shook his head, pulling the vacuum behind him so he could sweep the cushions of the couch. He now had to call in Harry to help him clean the house so he didn't have to do it by himself and if Harry refused Zayn didn't know what he was going to do. He was tired of being alone. He wanted Harry to come help him but he supposed he understood if he couldn't make it.  
   

He pulled the hose from the side of the vacuum and yanked it over the fabric, the chip crumbs along with a bunch of other shit, disappearing into the vacuum's dust and dirt trapper. He swept for hours until the house was spotless, even going as far to sweep the staircase. He shoved the vacuum back in the closet and walked up the stairs to his room, searching for a pair of jeans to wear after his shower. The doorbell rang as his hand touched the bathroom door knob and he sighed, running back down the stairs to get the door. He pulled it open, sighing in relief when he saw Harry's smiling face.

  

"Miss me?" He grinned, holding up a bag from Roscoe's, Zayn's favorite diner.

  

Zayn nodded, pulling him in for a hug. "Yes, of course, you little shit. Get in here. I'm starving."

  

Harry laughed as he closed the door behind him, kicking off his brown leather boots as he followed Zayn into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and pulled out a container of thick potato soup and a spoon, sliding it over to Zayn.

  

"Brought you some breakfast."

  

Zayn smiled as he sat down, pulling the bowl close to him and opening the lid. Steam flowed out, filling the air with its rich potato smell. Zayn inhaled as he lifted the spoon to his mouth, blowing on it.

  

"I also saw that someone attacked your house last night. What's that all about?" Harry asked, getting up to help himself to some of the tea leftover from last night, reheating it in the microwave.

  

"I don't know," Zayn said, swallowing the bite of soup. "I went over to the neighbor's last night to bitch about the music and I guess he didn't take it well."

  

"I'd say so." Harry smiled, sitting down, stirring sugar into his tea. "Vindictive little shit, isn't he?"

 

 "Yes," Zayn said. "He is. And if he does it again I'm gonna recruit you to help me beat his ass. You should've seen his face this morning. He was grinning like he owned the damn sun."

  

Harry chuckled as he sipped his tea. "Well shit, Zayn. Sounds like you really hate this guy's guts."

  

"You don't know the half of it. I should call him over and make _him_ clean the house. That'll teach his ass. It's like he did it just to wind me up," Zayn sighed, eating more of the chunky soup.

  

"Maybe he is," Harry pointed out.

  

"What?"

  

"Maybe," Harry paused, green eyes lifting to meet Zayn's face. "He _is_ just doing it to wind you up. Get a reaction out of you. Hell, maybe that's his way of saying he wants to be your friend."

  

"My friend? No, I don't buy that. Try another theory, Harry."

  

Harry held up his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying. You don't know what his intentions were."

 

  "I think I have pretty good idea."

  

"Oh, stop it," Harry said. "Get your ass out of this funk. So what if he egged your house? How hard is it to clean it? Just powerwash it."

  

Zayn glanced up at him. "Where am I going to get a powerwasher, Harry? I don't have that kind of money."

 

"No, but your boy next door does."

 

"How do you know that?" Zayn asked.

 

  Harry shrugged. "I seen the powerwasher in his driveway. It's like he's expecting you to come ask for it."

 

  "Well, I won't," Zayn said. "I don't want to play his games. I'll just go up there with a shovel and a bucket. Scrape it off by hand."

  

Harry snorted, rinsing his mug. "Okay, Zayn. Whatever you say. Just promise not to get any on your precious boots, alright? I have to go now. I'm meeting Louis at Shadow's Putt-Putt. We have a date today."

 

"Who's Louis?"

 

   Harry brushed off the question. "Oh, you'll meet him eventually. If he sticks around long enough. Enjoy your soup!"

 

  Zayn watched in silence as Harry sauntered out the door, humming as he walked out the gate and down the sidewalk, away from Zayn's house. He looked down at his soup and stirred the chunks of potato around in a circle, bored. He contemplated what Harry had said. Should he go over and ask for the powerwasher? _No_ , his mind said harshly. _You're not playing his games, remember? Forget about him!_

Zayn realised as he stood up to rinse his bowl, heading up the stairs to start his shower, that he couldn't. He knew who the boy was now and the boy knew that. He was going to keep Zayn coming back whether he liked it or not.

 —∞—

 Zayn pulled at his face while he rocked back and forth on his heels. He was standing on the blonde boy's front porch, all the party guests gone, and he was working up the nerve to knock on the door. Harry had called after Zayn got out of the shower to further convince him that he needed to go over to the blonde boy's house and demand that he borrow his powerwasher to clean up the mess that _he_ made. Harry claimed that if the boy had any manners at all, he would extend his courtesy and let Zayn borrow the powerwasher to clean his house. After all, Harry pointed out, if he was in Zayn's position, he'd want someone to do it for him so he'd better step up and be friendly. Zayn rolled his eyes at Harry's babble, he was so used to it. Harry always went around thinking he knew people. Granted, most times he was right but that didn't mean he always was. Some people you just don't know.

  

"Well, you gonna knock or just stand there like a jackass?" A voice asked.

  

Zayn looked towards the door, the blonde boy from last night was standing there in a new pair of jeans on and no shirt. He had bed hair, or maybe it was sex hair, and he was holding a guitar. Zayn fumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets so the boy wouldn't see them shaking.

 

"I came over here to ask a favour," Zayn started, shifting his weight to his left leg.

  

"Okay," the boy said, opening the door and coming out onto the porch. "What kind of favour?"

  

"Uh, my friend dropped by this morning and noticed that you have a powerwasher and he convinced me that I should ask you to borrow it so I can clean my house," Zayn said, looking anywhere but the boy's face. He was actually pretty good-looking in the daylight without beer all over his clothes. And he smelled better; like cocoa and mint.

  

"What do you think?" Blondie asked, sitting down on the swing. "Do you think I should lend you the powerwasher to clean your house?"

  

Zayn opened his mouth then closed it. He did think the boy should lend it to him but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be indebted to this asshole. He asks for a favour, he has to give one back and the boy could ask for _anything_. He just wasn't entirely sure if that was a responsibility he was willing to take on. He had enough to worry about. The last thing he needed was someone asking him to hunt down some heroin or some shit.

 

"Well? What do you think? You wanna borrow it?"

 

  Zayn nodded, decision made. "Yes. I wanna borrow it. Do you mind? I'll return it when I'm finished."

 

He held up a hand. "No need. It's yours. I felt a little bad about egging your house last night, it was my friend's idea, so I went out last night before the shops closed and picked one up. It wasn't cheap but I figured it's the least I can do."

 

  Zayn raised his eyebrows. "You, uh, bought me a powerwasher? But you don't even know me! That's quite a bit of money."

  

"I know," he said, standing up and walking off the porch and over to the powerwasher sitting in the drive. "But I felt it was the right thing to do. So, please, just take it. I'll even help you clean the house."

  

"Uh, no." Zayn shook his head. "That's alright. You don't have to do that. You've done plenty. Trust me."

 

"You sure? 'Cos I'd be glad to help." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not an all around asshole, you know."

 

  "Never would've guessed," Zayn muttered, bending to grab the powerwasher's handle so he could wheel it home. He stepped around the boy, stopping to look at him. "Thanks again for the powerwasher. I appreciate it. I'm Zayn, by the way."

  

"Niall. See you around, then?"

  

Zayn looked away briefly, contemplating. "Yeah. See you around."

 

 

   "So, he just gave you the powerwasher?" Harry asked over dinner that night.

  

Zayn nodded. "Yep. Says he went out last night after it happened and bought it just for me."

 

  He looked down at his breaded chicken, poking it with his fork. Harry smiled at him. He knew that look. "You're starting to think he's not so much an asshole, aren't you? You're starting to like him."

  

Zayn looked up sharply, dropping his fork making Harry smirk. "No I'm not. He's less of an asshole, yes. But I don't like him. _I don't_."

  

Harry shrugged, holding up his hands. "Alright. But when you two end up fucking, I'm gonna say I told you so."

  

"That's fine. But only if it happens."

  

"And it will."

 

  Zayn smiled and shook his head. There he goes again, thinking he knows people. Zayn wanted to prove him wrong but something deep, deep down inside of him told him that he wouldn't able to. No matter how much he wanted to. His fate was already set in motion and if Niall happened to be in it, then so be it. But he didn't like Harry trying to tell him what he was going to do regarding his personal life. He didn't say anything about it, though. He really wasn't in the mood to argue with Harry. Not about this.

  

"How was your date today, Harry? Was Louis nice?"

 

  He nodded. "He was actually. Very friendly. And funny, too."

 

"So, are you going to go out with him again?" Zayn asked, swallowing a bite of green beans.

  

Harry shrugged, cutting his chicken into pieces. "I don't know yet. Probably."

  

"I think you should. It seems like you really like him," Zayn told him.

  

"You think so? Yeah. Okay. I'll give him a call after dinner. Thanks, mate." Harry smiled as he finished his dinner and Zayn smiled, too. It's been a few years since Harry's been serious with someone, when he was eighteen, and he was praying that this Louis guy would be the one that hangs around for a while. After all the shit Harry's been through in the past few years, what with break-ups, mom and step-dad divorcing, sister leaving, and other stuff, he needed some consistency. He deserved it.  
   

 

Zayn finished up his dinner and scooped the remaining food into the trash, loading the dishes into the dishwasher. Harry sat in silence at the table, watching him. He was nearly done with his chicken, Zayn leaning against the counter, when he spoke again.

 

  "When's Liam coming home?"

  

"Tomorrow, I think. Said he wanted to relax for a few days at home before school started up again," Zayn answered, looking out the big window opposite of the sink, looking out into his small backyard, the only thing back there besides an old swing was an old grill that had a tarp over it, protecting it from the rain. When they actually had some, that is.

 

  "Hm," Harry tutted. "I can understand that. Bet he's ready to get back though?"

 

"He is. He's really enjoying his classes and he's eager to start up again. I spoke with him on the phone earlier. He called while we were cleaning the house," Zayn explained.

  

"Oh, that's who you were talking to? The way you talked, I thought it was your mother!" Harry smiled and Zayn laughed, shaking his head.

  

"No. She called later."

  

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Zayn went to get it, furrowing his brows as he went. He reached out to open the door and his eyes widened. "Niall. What are you doing here? Don't you have a party to plan?"

  

"Yes, actually that's why I'm here," He said, Zayn turning to look at Harry who was coming up behind him.

  

"Is that so?"

  

"Yeah. I'm throwing a small party tonight—friends only—and I thought that maybe you wanted to, I don't know, come?" He asked, a hopeful expression coating his features. It looked good on him. A lot better than his asshole face, that's for sure.

  

"Um, " Zayn started.

  

"We'd love to!" Harry exclaimed, reaching out to hug the boy, causing Zayn to glare. "What time should we arrive?"

  

"Anytime after seven," Niall smiled, stepping out of Harry's embrace. "See you there"  
  

  Zayn watched him skip off back to his own house, waiting until he was inside before he reached over and punched Harry in the arm.

  

"What the hell are you thinking? A party?"

  

"What?" Harry asked, innocently. "It's just a party. No big deal."

  

"No big deal? God, Harry. What am I going to do with you?" Zayn sighed, wiping his face. It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Obscene rap music invaded Zayn's ears as soon as he and Harry stepped out of the house and onto the porch. It was barely approaching seven and Niall's party was already in full swing. As they walked down the steps and onto the footpath, Zayn noticed that for friends only, there was already quite a bit of people there. Not really considering himself a friend of Niall's, Zayn found it a little weird that they would attend but what could he do? Harry had told Niall to his face that they'd be there so he had to atleast make an appearance. It would've been rude not to. But then again, nice has never exactly been Zayn's specialty.

Zayn reached down and unlatched the gate and let Harry go ahead of him, locking it behind them as they started the short walk to Niall's house. The music got louder as they got closer and people pushed behind them obviously in a hurry to get to the party and Zayn was thankful he didn't have a drink in his hand. Otherwise, it would've been all over Harry's expensive Burberry shirt. Harry tucked his hands in his pockets, his elbow accidentally taking residence in Zayn's side and he whimpered. Harry looked over at him when he heard the sound.

"You alright, mate?"

Zayn nodded, waving off the question, and a body, as they approached Niall's house. "Yeah. Fine."

He wasn't sure why he failed to mention the elbow to Harry. It really made no difference either way but for some reason his sub-conscious chose to hold back that information. Zayn wondered what else it was keeping from people, including himself.

The song switched to _Summertime Sadness_ by Lana Del Rey as they walked up the steps, Zayn being knocked backward by _another_ streaker and he would've landed hard on his ass had Harry not reached out and caught him. He sent him a silent thanks as they made their way inside. It was Zayn's first time inside Niall's house and he had to say, he was impressed. Despite the obvious party mess, the place was immaculate. All the photo frames on the wall, most of them filled with pictures of what Zayn assumed to be Ireland, were straight and there wasn't a crooked corner in sight. There was no spilled beer on the white carpet or fist sized holes in the pale grey walls. Even though Niall was an avid party animal, he was apparently an avid cleaner as well. Someone walked by Zayn wearing enough perfume to make him sick and he was ready to puke in one of Niall's plants when the boy himself showed up, clad in a grey t-shirt and khakis, grey and orange high-top sneakers on his feet. He was holding a red solo cup and his hair was quiffed, a piece of a candy bar wrapper sticking up near the back that he didn't appear to notice. Zayn figured it was because he was too busy trying to stretch his face with that shit eatng grin he had playing on his lips.

"Zayn! And —"

"Harry." Harry supplied as Niall wrapped the both of them in a hug. Zayn wanted to pull away and explain to this prick that they were by no means friends but Harry had a firm grip on his arm and the meaning was clear: Zayn wasn't going anywhere. He sighed, reaching up to touch his quiff when Niall pulled away, still smiling. _Damn_. Zayn thought. _Is this guy for real? What's with all the fucking smiling? It's creepy._

"So," Niall said as _Is This Love_ by Aiden Grimshaw started to play throughout the house. "Whataya think of the party so far? It's a lot smaller than what I'm used to but it'll do."  
 Smaller? Zayn thought, looking around. If nothing else, the party was bigger tonight than it was yesterday. Niall was delusional. Or in denial.

"It's great." Harry said. "Everyone else seems to like it. The music's good, too."

Zayn frowned at Harry's subtle attempts to kiss Niall's ass. Sure, the party was alright. But the music was still shitty in Zayan's opinion. The only good thing about the party was the house it was taking place in.

"Ah. I have my best friend Louis to thank for that." Niall smiled, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of said person. Zayn leaned a little to the right to get a better look and spotted a short brown haired boy spinning records and dancing.

"Psst. Zayn." Harry elbowed him, intentionally this time. "That's him. That's Louis."

"Wait." Zayn said. "Louis as in, _you're boyfriend, Louis?"_

"Well." Harry shrugged. "Not boyfriend but yeah. Same guy."

Zayn squinted to get a closer look. He had tan skin and blue eyes, a feathery brown fringe hanging over his forehead. He had on a blue t-shirt and was bobbing his head to the pulsing music. If you thought about it, he and Harry did make a cute couple.

"Nice." Zayn commented. "He suits you."

"So you approve?" Harry asked, looking hopeful.

"You don't need my approval, Harry. But yes." Zayn smiled. "I approve."

"What are you yapping about?" Niall stammered, slinging an arm around their shoulders. "Knock it off and dance. Harry, you know where the beer is, I assume?"

Harry looked around, confused. And he wasn't the only one. How Harry would know where the beer was, was beyond Zayn but he let it go when Harry shrugged, walking off towards the kitchen, leaving Zayn alone with a getting drunk fast Niall. He glanced down at Niall's head and moved it away from the zipper of his leather jacket, Niall giggling as he stepped back. Zayn frowned, desperate to create some space. Never having a drink himself. Liam wasn't a drinker either, he wasn't used to being around so much alcohol. It created a lot of unnecessary temptation, that quite frankly, Zayn wasn't comfortable being around. Niall was nearly drunk off his ass and Zayn was still standing there, sweating in his heavy clothing, stone cold sober.

I need some air, he thought, pushing his way through the crowd once more to get back out into the evening air, Wires by The Neighbourhood pulsing from the stereo by the door. He opened it, his sweaty palms making his grip on the door loose, and stumbled out, gasping like a fish out of water. Once the fresh air cleared his mind, he could smell all the different smells in the air. Alcohol, sweat, cheap perfume, vomit. It made Zayn's nose wrinkle and he regretted coming. He looked around, hoping to spot Harry's curly head somewhere in the ground but he failed to see him, settling on the porch swing, kicking his legs back and forth to propel the swing at a steady pace. Still sweaty from inside, he slipped off his jacket, the charcoal sweater he had on enough to fight the chill. He pulled out a pack of Marlboro Light cigarettes and lit one, breathing in the taste and exhaling the smoke. He held it between his fingers, careful not to let the burning end touch the wooden swing and cause a commotion. The song changed once again inside and Zayn bobbed his head to an Usher song, humming along to _Climax_ under his breath.

A group of girls, _drunk_ girls, stumbled by in lace undergarments and entered the house. One of them dropped their still lit cigarette on the porch and Zayn hurried to stomp it out before it caused a fire. Asshole or not, Zayn wasn't about to let Niall's house burn down.

He finished his own cigarette, tossing it into the grass before sitting back down on the bench, crossing his legs at the ankles. A moment later, Harry and Niall stumbled out, laughing like hyenas. Zayn quickly stood, grabbing his jacket. He ran over to Harry, pulling him away from Niall.

"Come on, Harry. I'm ready to go." He tried to pull Harry down the steps and towards home but Harry tugged, stopping them.

"Ready to go?" He asked, checking his watch. "It's only nine o'clock. Live a little, Zayn. God."

Zayn pulled out his phone, clarifying the time. Had they really been here two hours already? It had only felt like thirty minutes. Zayn frowned, stepping away from a drunk Harry, standing alone in the grass.

"Okay." He said slowly, drawing the word out. "I'll just go home by myself."

He rubbed the back of his neck, turning to Niall. "I'm sorry. I have to go. As you can probably tell, parties aren't really my scene. See you tomorrow, Harry."

With that, he hastily turned on his heels and walked away from the party. He looped his jacket over his arm and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans, exhaling. His breath gathered in a cloud an inch from his mouth and he rubbed his lips together wishing he'd brought his chapstick. He hummed a random song under his breath as he bent to unlatch the gate, closing it behind him as he walked towards the front door. He pulled out his keys and unlocked it, the warmth of his home soothing his cluttered state of mind. He hung up his coat and threw himself onto the couch, not bothering to unlace his boots. He contemplated sleeping on the couch again but after what happened last night he decided not to risk it and pulled himself up, dragging his feet as he climbed the wooden stairs to his bedroom on the second level. His bedroom was, surprisingly, decorated very similarly to Niall's foyer. It had watery grey walls and a white baseboard that complemented the pale hardwood nicely as well as the blue and brown comforter on his full sized bed. He sat down on the edge, bending down to unlace his boots, kicking them off in the corner by his guitar that his father got him last year even though he could only play a few chords. He pulled off his jeans and sweater, flopping down on his back in only a white t-shirt and black boxers. He closed his eyes, fatigue threatening to take over but he wouldn't let it until he was tucked comfortably under the sheets, the sound of music from next door and a train somewhere in town the only sounds in his ears as he drifted off to sleep.

 

When Zayn woke up around three in the morning, his first thought was: _You've got to be shitting me._  
Despite it being the early hours of the morning, he could hear someone nearby playing guitar and singing along in a soft voice. While they sounded fairly good, Zayn was not interested in tuning into their private concert this time of night. It was still dark out which meant his ass belonged in bed. He held his pillow over his neck and buried his face in the mattress, trying to block out the sound but the volume of it made it seemed like whoever was playing was sitting right outside his bedroom window and it irritated the shit out of him. Convinced it wasn't going away anytime soon, he threw back the covers and got out of bed. He didn't bother rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he walked over to the window about three feet from his bed and pulled back the curtains. He looked out and didn't see anything at first glance so he unlocked the window and opened it, sticking his head out to check the sides. What he saw to the right nearly gave him a heart attack. He lost his balance and stumbled backwards, landing hard on his nearly bare ass. He grumbled in pain, rubbing his back as he stood back up. He opened the window further, reaching over to grab a pair of sweatpants from his wardrobe. He shrugged them on and lifted himself up and out the window. He stood up, wiping his hands on his pants and they flailed out when he nearly slipped and fell off the roof.

"Niall," he glared. "What the hell are you doing on my roof at three in the morning?"

Niall shrugged, not missing a note. "What's it look like, mate?"

"Like a skinny boy holding up a sign asking to get his ass kicked, is what it looks like." Zayn growled, crossing his arms.

Niall looked up at him and grinned but made no move to get his ass off of Zayn's roof. Zayn sighed and sat down next to him. _Might as well_ , he reasoned. _I'm already awake_. He rubbed his hands up and down wishing he had grabbed a sweater on the way out. Niall noticed his actions and stopped playing, moving the guitar aside to he could take off one his sweaters, handing it to Zayn before picking the guitar back up. He was actually quite good.

"What is this?" Zayn asked, holding up the blue sweater.

"A sweater." Niall answered. "Put it on. You'll freeze to death."

"You do know my bedroom is right there and I could have just stepped back in to grab one, right?" Zayn pointed out.

Niall shrugged. "Sorry. I just assumed that you came out without one for a reason. It's no big deal. Give it back if you don't want it."

Zayn shook his head, bringing the sweater close to his face. It smelled like cocoa and mint, apparently Niall's signature smells. "No, that's alright. I'll just wear it. It's only a sweater."

He caught Niall's smirk from the corner of his eye as he slipped the warm sweater over his head. Once it was on he could smell traces of aftershave on it as well. _Niall has good taste in smells_ , he thought, covering his cold hands with the sleeves of the sweater. He glanced over at Niall in a way that he hoped was more subtle than it felt. His blonde hair had brown roots and was back to the wild, sex hair look again. It was almost like Niall went to bed at a reasonable time after the party but set an alarm to come up to Zayn's roof and play.

"How long have you been doing this?" Zayn whispered, looking up at the starless sky.

"Since I moved in a few months ago." He replied and Zayn's eyes widened.

"What? You have? How come I never noticed you before tonight?"

Niall shrugged. He was doing an awful lot of that. "Heavy sleeper, I guess. I don't know."

Hm. That was weird. He understood last night because he'd spent it on the couch but what about all the other nights? Why would he wake up tonight and hear it but not any of the others? That doesn't make any sense. Zayn scratched his head, his quiff having fallen some time in his sleep. Niall's sweater was surprisingly good at keeping out the cold and Zayn considered keeping it.

"Maybe. I don't know either, to be perfectly honest." Zayn admitted.

They sat in silence for a while, Zayn humming along quietly whenever Niall played a song he recognised, just thinking about things. Zayn thought about his busy day tomorrow, or rather later that day. Liam was coming home and they were going to go out, along with Harry, to the golf course. Harry and Liam, but mostly Harry, were total golf junkies and on any day off, golf was their first way to spend it when Zayn would rather stay inside and draw or watch movies. It was difficult sometimes having friends that were much more outgoing than him but he's grown used to it, learning how to adapt in certain situations where he had to go out. Harry tried to do things inside a lot for his sake but Zayn always told him that that was foolish and that he shouldn't hold himself back from doing things just because Zayn didn't enjoy them. They couldn't _always_ do things together.

Zayn glanced at Niall once again and smiled. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted, barely muttering the lyrics to the song he was singing. Zayn recognised it as Shot For Me by Drake and he opened his own mouth to sing along, Niall's eyes opening. He smiled at Zayn and sang louder, their voices blending perfectly in early morning air, crisp like apples.

 —∞—

 

"Psst." Niall whispered. "Zayn. Get your ass up."

Zayn groaned awake and rubbed his eyes, the sleeves of the sweater scratching his eyes. It was just starting to get light out, the sky the color of blueberry yogurt, and it was a little warmer. Zayn sat up and looked at Niall, noticing they were still on the roof of his house.

"What time is it?" He grumbled.

Niall checked his watch. "Five o'clock. I'm gonna head home and I just thought I should wake you up before you freeze."

Zayn nodded and stood up, wiping his palms and tucking them back into the sweater. "Thanks."

Niall nodded in response as he turned and sat down on the roof where it angled downward, sliding down and dangling above the porch rail. He stretched until his shoes touched the rail and dropped down. He jumped off the rail and ran off the porch towards his house, calling out a mumbled goodbye. Zayn wiped his hands over his face and he walked back towards the window, climbing back inside. His room was frozen like a morgue and he shivered, his lips quivering. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater of his own, folding Niall's on the bed so he could remember to wash it, and headed for the bathroom. He was eager for his shower.

When he emerged twenty minutes later, he was warm and refreshed. He was slightly tired because he'd slept outside all night and it was far earlier than his usual time. By the time he rolled out of bed on a normal day, it was approaching nine. He stumbled down the stairs and walked blindly into the kitchen, tea being the only thing on his mind. He pulled at the kettle and got it sorted on the stove. He glanced up out the window and saw the mailman outside, slipping the mail into the box. He noticed Zayn watching and waved a silent greeting before walking down the road to the next house. Zayn waved back even though the man was already gone and couldn't see it. He dropped his hand, thinking about what he was going to do. Liam should be back soon but he was probably tired and wanted to sleep most of the day, leaving Zayn to his own devices. Again.

He poured the hot water into a mug and stirred sugar into his tea as he walked into the living room, curling up on the couch under the blanket. He switched on the television and changed it to the news channel. The lady presenting was wearing too much makeup and her hair was curled movie star style. She was going on about a bank robbery somewhere in the next city over and Zayn tuned her out, changing the channel to Sunday cartoons instead.

He finished his tea in front of the television before rinsing out his mug and brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink. He laced up his boots and walked out the door. He walked quickly down the footpath and exited through the gate so he could access the mailbox. He opened the purple lid and reached in, thankful that it was too cold for bees to take up residence in there. He pulled out the single envelope and glanced at it — junk — and promptly tossed it in the garbage can to his right. He glanced over at Niall's house next door. No one was outside this morning but all the party evidence was still in plain view. There was red solo cups everywhere, a beer bottle here and there, a bra hanging off the porch and the matching underwear not far off. Zayn rolled his eyes. He didn't know how Niall put up with that ridiculous party atmosphere all the time. Zayn didn't even hardly attend the parties and he was tired of it.

He saw a shadow moving behind the window, the curtains suddenly opening, and he caught a glimpse of Niall's bare chest. He was clad in only a pair of basically transparent boxers and Zayn looked away like he'd accidentally glanced up at the sun. He did not need to see _that._

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Zayn walked quickly back up the steps. The wreef Harry insisted he hang up fell off the door and into his path. He knelt down to pick it up and someone wolf whistled. He shot up, looking to the right towards his other neighbor's house. The man that lived there was a fat son of a bitch that spent all his time, year round, on his porch in his underwear. Nine times out of ten he was holding a bottle of whiskey. Zayn ignored him most times but they were a certain few that just made his skin crinkle up and crawl away. The man was downright creepy.

"Morning, Zayn," he called, grinning while he shoved his fat sausage fingers down his pants.

Zayn wrinkled his nose in disgust and hurried to hang the hang the wreef back up. He quickly grabbed his phone off the counter and car keys before running back outside. He locked the door and looked over at the man to make clear what he was doing and climbed into his black Smart Car parked on the curb. He started the engine and waited while it warmed up so he could turn on the heater. Niall emerged from his house in a thin blue t-shirt and jeans, wearing no shoes as walked out into the dew covered grass to clean up the mess from last night's apparent rager. With everyone's lack of clothing, Zayn was starting to think that he was the only one who knew what time of year it was. _I mean, come on_ , Zayn thought. _Barefoot? Really?_ It didn't make any sense to him.

He flicked on the heater, warm air that smelled slightly like minty toothpaste filling the cold air of the car. He inhaled as he dug around for the cinnamon air freshener he kept in the glove box and clipped it onto one of the vents, makng the car smell like one giant cinnamon stick, _just_ the way Zayn liked it.

Niall dumped the bag of party contents in the trash bin as Zayn pulled away, waving a neutral greeting. Niall smiled at him and waved back, his coming across a lot more friendly than Zayn's. Zayn shook his head as he passed, turning onto the main road. Regardless of their night on the roof, Niall was still an asshole.

Liam had called him yesterday and asked if he could pick him up from the airport. Zayn agreed even though his car wasn't exactly the most spacious one out there but, really, how much space did Liam need? If Zayn remembered correctly, he only had two bags. There was plenty of room in the trunk for that. He was sure of it.

He turned off the heat as he pulled into the airport. Liam had told him that he didn't have to come in but he needed to smoke and he wasn't about to leave the car running. Gas was _far_ too expensive.

He opened up the door and stepped out, pulling out his cigarettes at the same time. He slipped one out and held it close to his face, trapping the end between his lips so he could light it. He slid his batman lighter back into the pocket of his jeans and leaned against the car, breathing out the smoke causing it to mix with the bitter air that clawed at his warm skin.

"Zayn!"

Zayn turned and smiled as Liam ran towards him, bags slung over his shoulder. He looked good, refreshed. He had on grey skinny jeans and a purple t-shirt, white converses adorning his feet. His short hair wasn't quiffed and was falling over his forehead, getting pushed up when he buried his head in Zayn's neck.

"How've you been, mate?" Liam asked, pulling back.

Zayn took his bags from him and loaded them into the small space in the back of the car, closing the door. "Good. You?"

Liam nodded as he climbed into the passenger's seat, waiting for Zayn to put out his cigarette. "I've been good, too. It's nice to go home once in a while, you know?"

Zayn nodded as he slipped behind the wheel, starting the car. "I know. I only go home during the summer but yeah. I know what you mean."

Zayn stayed silent as he drove home. He focused on listening to Liam talk about his sisters and his parents, smiling when Liam mentioned that his mother cried non-stop. It was always nice to hear Liam talk because he didn't do it often. He was quiet, a lot like Zayn, but he had more of those _out there_ moments than Zayn did. He was pretty consistent with things like that.

Zayn shut off the engine as he parked along the curb, turning to face a grinning Liam. "What?"

He shook his head, laughing like he couldn't believe his luck. "The neighbor's inside."

"What?!' Zayn exclaimed as he looked around Liam. Sure enough, the man was nowhere to be found. "Stupid fucker. Hangs around like the creepy shit he is when I'm getting the mail but when you come home, his ass is gone. I don't believe this."

Liam laughed again as he got out to retrieve his bags. "Sorry, Zayn. I think he just likes you."

"That's fine," Zayn said, shrugging. "Except for the fact that he's like fifty years old."

Liam grinned, closing the trunk. "Just come on. Now's your chance to go in without being obviously eye-raped."

"Thanks for that," Zayn tutted. "'Cos it's not like he isn't watching through the windows, right?"

Liam nodded, laughing. Zayn followed him into the house, doing his best to avoid looking at the neighbor's house. He was afraid that if he looked he actually would see the man watching through the window. That was enough to give him goosebumps. Just the thought of living next to a potential sex offender made Zayn uneasy.

"Relax, Zayn. He's not going to rape you. Get your mind out of the gutter." Liam said. "You can't always expect the worst from people."

Zayn rubbed his hands together silently. He knew Liam was right but he couldn't help it. He was just naturally suspicious of people. It was just his nature.

"I know what you're thinking," Liam pointed, unzipping his bag. "And it's not true. You can always learn to trust people. You trust Harry and I, right?"

Zayn nodded. "See? Nothing to it. Now help me unpack. I wanna be completely finished by the time Harry shows up. God knows he'll do everything to keep me from unpacking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? The party scene was a little difficult because I've never been to a party but I think I managed. Feedback? 
> 
> Or not. I hate asking. It makes me sound desperate. Which I'm not :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go ahead and upload this since I finished it today as well : )

 

"I don't see why you won't invite him over for dinner tonight." Zayn wondered. "You know you're allowed to use my kitchen."

Harry shrugged his shoulders against the wooden rocking chair he was sitting in. Zayn only had one chair on his front porch so Harry had to drag this one out from the living room and he had a hell of a time getting it through Zayn's narrow front door. And now that he had it out here, he wasn't sure if he was going to be willing to take it back in.

"Because." Harry paused. "I don't know. It's just, what if he doesn't want to?"

"Then let him choose what he wants to do." Zayn offered. "Maybe he's not comfortable at your house yet. Or rather, mine."

"You think that'll work?" Harry asked, unsure. Zayn shrugged. He didn't know. He just told Harry what he would want someone to tell him. Maybe Louis didn't want a date at all. It was possible that he didn't like Harry like that. It would be a shame if that were true because Harry really liked Louis and Zayn wanted Louis to like Harry back just as much.

"I don't know, Harry. Wait and see if he accepts the first one first. Then decide."

Harry nodded and took a drink of his beer. He usually didn't drink outside of parties so when he showed up at Zayn's house with a pack in his hand, Zayn knew something was up. He ordered Harry to spill while they sat out on the porch because the weather was unusually warm again, the fifties, and it was comfortable enough to sit outside with only a light jacket on which is exactly what Zayn was doing, Harry opting for only a long sleeved t-shirt.

A gust of wind blew — strong enough to knock the wreath off the door — and Harry shivered under the thin material of his shirt.

"Why don't you go inside and get a jacket from my closet?" Zayn suggested.

"Can I grab whichever one I want?"

Zayn nodded, sighing. "Yes. But not my favorite and you know which one I'm talking about."

Harry laughed as he ran inside the pale lavender house, leaving Zayn to drink his Coke in silence. He didn't have to look to know that the creepy next door neighbor was out; he could smell the whiskey from here. He felt the man's eyes on him and he was determined not to look or give the man any signs that he knew what he was up to.

The door to Niall's house opened and he sauntered out in a pair of khaki shorts and high-top sneakers, making his way over to the little garage at the end of the drive. Zayn watched until he emerged again a minute later, a can of soft blue paint matching the house in his hands. He knelt down next to the steps. Zayn realised that he planned on repainting them that night even though it was going on five o'clock. If that were Zayn, he would have waited until tomorrow.

"Which one did you grab?" Zayn asked as Harry came back out, wearing a pink zip up jacket.

Zayn rolled his eyes. "Oh. My. God. Where did you get _that?"_

Harry giggled cheekily as he sat down. "The back of your closet. Damn, this fucker was hidden. And I can see why. It's absolutely hideous."

Zayn chuckled, shaking his head. Niall moved to the other two steps and he was singing loud enough for Zayn to pick up the lyrics.

"I see your boy came out while I was gone." Harry noted.

"He's not my boy, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "Whatever you say, Zayn."

"You always say that, Harry. I know you're being a little shit about it." Zayn smirked, finishing his Coke and getting up to toss it in the garbage by the curb. The trash man should be coming to get it tomorrow and Zayn couldn't wait. It was starting to get a little full. But compared to Niall's trash, Zayn's was fairly manageable.

Harry laughed. "I always am. Hey, can we order pizza?"

"You ate a candy bar an hour ago, Harry." Zayn pointed out, opening a new can of Coke. If Liam was home right now Zayn knew he'd be getting on him about soda because he always claimed that soda is what puts the weight on your ass. He chuckled at the sound of Liam's condescending voice in his head as he rocked back on forth on his rusty red porch swing, the paint slowly peeling off and falling onto the pale blue porch. His house was a bunch of different colors and Harry always joked that it looked like an old woman lived there with her seventeen cats. Zayn disagreed. He liked the house. While the outside might look like an old woman lived there, the inside certainly didn't. It was far too modern and had too many teenager touches. He just put it off to Harry showing his jealousy in a creative and subtle way. The house was awesome and nobody was going to tell him differently.

"I know. But I'm hungry and plus, Louis' delivering tonight." He smiled.

Zayn furrowed his brows. "You want me to spend twelves dollars on a pizza _just_ because Louis' delivering? Harry, that's a crock of shit. No way."

"Wait!" Harry exclaimed, holding out his hands. "I'll pay for it. Look. I have twenty dollars in my wallet. See? I'll pay, just please, _please_ let me order it?"

Zayn sighed, not knowing why he bothered in the first place. He knew he would cave in. He always did with Harry. He just had a way about him that made his charm irresistable. Zayn wished that he had that kind of charm. It seems like everyone had a bit of it these days. Everyone except him.

"Alright. Fine. You can order the pizza. But don't ask him to eat it with us." Zayn pointed. "He's working and I don't want you to put him in that kind of position."

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes. "I knew'd you say that."

Zayn chuckled as Harry pulled out his phone, running inside to get the phone book because he didn't know the pizza place's phone number. He returned a minute later with the Yellow Pages and set it on his lap, flipping through the business section.

Zayn pulled out a cigarette and lit it while Harry ordered. He put it to his lips, glancing over at Niall's house again. He was finished painting the steps and he was standing in the middle of the yard, his back to Zayn, talking to someone on the phone. The person said something and Niall bent over, his laugh echoing in the still evening air.

"It'll be here in ten minutes." Harry said, returning the phone book inside. He came back out and shut the door, a little too hard, and the wreath fell off. Again.

"You know what?" Zayn fumed. "I'm gonna throw the damn thing in the trash. I'm so fucking sick of picking it up."

He picked it up and threw it as hard as he could. It missed the open lid, hitting the middle of the trash can knocking it over all together. Zayn pulled at his quiff, frustrated.

"Relax, Zayn." Harry said, walking down the steps towards the mess. "It's not that big of a deal."

Zayn knew he was right but he couldn't help it. After the whole Niall situation the other day and the neighbor, plus school, the wreath just tipped the scales and Zayn felt his anger building as the neighbor left his porch and wandered over to Zayn's trash can where Harry was bending to clean it up. He moved Harry aside and started digging through the trash. Zayn shot up and ran over to him, his hands in the air.

"What the fuck are you doing with my shit?" He asked.

The man shrugged, picking a hair out of the crack of his ass and Zayn cringed. "Going through it. One man's trash is another man's treasure." He smiled and Zayn noticed that he was missing several teeth, the rest yellow and rotten.

"I don't fucking think so. Get the fuck off my property, jackass." Zayn crossed his arms and Harry stood to put a hand on his shoulder. Niall was off the phone and had turned around to see what all the commotion was about. Zayn couldn't see it but Niall was smirking at the whole thing. Zayn just encountered problem after problem.

The man held up his hands in surrender, exposing his dirty and bitten finger nails. Zayn looked away, his stomach in his throat as he threatened to be sick. He stuck up his hand in the stop motion.

"Just," he paused. "Get off my property. And stop fucking looking over in the mornings, will ya? It's creepy."

The man nodded even though Zayn had a sneaking suspicion that he would do nothing of the sort. He would continue to be a dirty ass and he would continue to look at Zayn when he took out his trash in the mornings like he was a piece of finely cooked steak. Zayn shivered. He wouldn't be surprised if that man had a pink sex offender slip on his door one of these days. He could always move to a new house but a Peeping Tom wasn't a serious enough reason to Zayn to move. That, and he didn't think had the money to move.

"What a creep." Harry muttered.

"You got that right."

"He smells like whiskey and piss." Harry commented. " I was _this_ close to puking up my candy bar."

Zayn laughed as red car pulled up behind his black one, a _Santo's Pizza_ sign on top of it like a taxi. The door opened noisily and Louis got out, holding a single box of pepperoni pizza, extra cheese.

Harry rubbed his hands together and smiled at Zayn, nudging him. "Hey, Louis. I didn't know you worked at Santo's."

"Uh, yeah." Louis said, confused. "I thought I mentioned that the other night. Did I not?"

Harry quickly shook his head. "Nope. No, you did not."

Zayn looked down and smiled as Louis passed Harry the pizza, Harry's fingers lingering a little too long as he passed over the bills. Harry was so bad at being subtle but Louis didn't appear to notice anything as he leaned in to hug Harry, kissing him on the cheek with mumbles of seeing him tomorrow. Zayn watched Harry's expression as Louis got back in the car, waving at Niall who Zayn forgot was there, as he drove off. Harry's face was a mix of shock and happiness.

"Why are you smiling?"

Harry turned to look at him, pointing to his cheek but he didn't say anything and Zayn raised his eyebrows. He didn't understand what Harry was getting at.

"He kissed my cheek." He grinned.

"So?" Zayn asked. "Big deal."

"He's never done that before. Is that progress? Does that mean he wants to date me?" Harry asked hopefully.

Zayn frowned. "Damn, Harry. Why are you being so clingy? He's just a guy."

"Yes," Harry paused. "But he's the guy I want."

Zayn searched his eyes to see if he was serious. He looked into Harry's cucumber green eyes and looked for anything suspicious. The only things he seen were clouds of blue that he knew were Louis' eyes.

 —∞—

 

After watching reruns of Seinfeld on television all day, Zayn was exhausted. He'd finished his sketch for class by working on it during commercials, nearly spilling his orange and cinnamon tea on it twice. He was starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to drink his tea in front of the television anymore. It's like his mugs are just destined to tip over and spill.

Standing up, he picked up the empty mug and set it in the sink. He folded up the sketch and slipped it inside the blue folder he had for class and tucked it safely away in his beige over the shoulder bag that was sitting by the front door. The clock struck eight and a sudden burst of music emerged next door and Zayn looked out the window by the television. His vision was a little fuzzy because he'd yet to clean the beer off from a few days ago, which reminded him. He grabbed a bottle of Windex and a dishtowel and laced up his boots. He walked off the front porch and around to the side of the house. He noticed lights on everywhere around Niall's house and people all over the property. He sighed. Niall was throwing another party. The music was loud as hell and Zayn could feel a headache coming on as people passed behind him, edging dangeroualy close to the fence separating their houses. Niall's house was the last house on the block and the rest of the land was open country owned by the city so his guests had more than enough room to spread out. Zayn didn't understand the guest's constant need to venture over to his property. What was wrong with the hillside next door? Absolutely nothing.

This particular party seemed to be more of a bonfire party because there was a fire going out back, people crowded around it, laughing about something Zayn couldn't hear. He probably didn't want to know anyway.

He sprayed some Windex on the window and stood on his tiptoes to wipe it off, the foundation under the house causing him to have to stretch higher than he thought. He scrubbed hard until all the smelly alcohol was gone from the glass and it was clean again. He sighed. That's better. He was suddenly shoved hard from behind and beer spilled all over the hem of his favorite sweater.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed. What were these people doing on his property anyway? Didn't they see the fence? It was there for a reason.

"Sorry." A girl stumbled, a guy trying his best to take off her clothes.

Zayn wrinkled his nose. "Don't apologise. Just get out of my yard, yeah?"

They nodded as they tried to get back over the fence sloppily and obviously drunk. Zayn walked over and half-heartedly push the both of them, smiling when they landed on the other side, spilling the rest of the girl's beer along with more giggles.

Zayn pulled his sweatshirt away from his skin before deciding to take it off altogether, exposing his bare, tattooed chest underneath. He was sort of pissed. _Those fucking people_ , he grumbled. _Who do they think they are? Hopping my fence to fuck in my backyard?_ He shook his head as he walked out the front gate, dropping the cleaning supplies. He was gonna go have a word with Niall because if he remembers correctly, he specifically told Niall to keep his drunk guests off of his property.

Fighting through the mass of bodies and drunk girls clinging to his bare chest, he tried his best to find Niall's blonde head in the crowd. The house was dark so he assumed everyone to be outside. He bumped into someone and smiled when he smelled cocoa and mint. Jackpot.

"Niall." He said, his tone saying everything he didn't.

"Zayn!" He exclaimed, smiling. "I didn't know you were here. Want a beer? There's a cooler around here somewhere. Where's it at? Hold on a minute. Let me find it."

Zayn put his hand over Niall's mouth to shut him up. It was obvious he was drunk. Now that he'd spoken Zayn could smell it on his breath. Niall licked his hand, laughing, and Zayn yanked it away.

"Ew, you prick. Cut it out. I came over here to talk to you." Zayn growled, drying his hand on his pants, skin tingling.

Niall just laughed and swayed on his feet, drunker than Zayn initially thought. He was giggling like mad and Zayn looked around to try and find what was so funny. Seeing nothing, he turned to Niall again.

"Niall!" He shouted to be heard over the music. "Shut the fuck up with the giggling, will ya? I'm serious."

Niall shook his head, placing a hand on Zayn's shoulder to steady himself that Zayn promptly shook off. He sighed, regretting coming over. He was getting nowhere with Niall. He was far too drunk to say anything coherent and Zayn was getting pissed off. He turned to leave, an ankle around his leg stopping him. He looked down at it and back at Niall who was smiling and trying so hard to look sober it was cute.

"What are you doing, Niall?" His tone was light and surprisingly endearing.

"Come back. Please. Let's talk. You wanted to, right?" He slurred, a stray giggle coming out, exposing the cracks in his sober skin.

Zayn glanced at him up and down, eyeing the spilt beer on his faded green tank top. He was grinning and there were a thousand stars in his blue eyes, reminding Zayn of outer space.

"Uh, yeah. But only if you take me seriously because I'm not fucking around here, understand?" Zayn informed him and Niall nodded, a little too hard because he nearly tipped over, another infectious giggle slipping from his pink lips. 

"Go right ahead, mate." He laughed. "Whataya want?"

Zayn crossed his arms as Niall sidetracked and moved his body to the beat of the shitty ass music, still giggling. Zayn was starting to get impatient.

"Damn it, Niall." Zayn hissed. "I'm trying to tell you something and you're being a dick. I want you to keep your fucking shitty friends away from my fucking house, got it? I want 'em away. I'm sick of the beer on my windows and the naked girls lifting their legs over my damn fence. Next time someone sets a drunk ass foot on my property line, I'm calling the cops. No exceptions. We clear?"

Niall nodded, looking slightly intimidated, his eyes wide. He put a hand out to Zayn to stop him from leaving but Zayn walked away from it. He crossed his fingers that Niall made the message clear to his guests, trying not to look back because he knew hurt would be written all over Niall's drunk but infuriatingly attractive face and he deep down, he wasn't sure his heart could take it. He wouldn't admit that to anyone, though. Not a chance.

He didn't really want to call the police over something so trivial but he was tired of it. He'd told Niall once and he didn't listen so if it happens again, Zayn would have no choice but to make good on his threats. While it may not be wanted, it was necessary and that was enough for Zayn.

 

 

The sun was high in the sky and it was shining bright as it focused its light rays on Zayn's nearly finished sketch of the building. He was sitting on an advertisement bench across the street from the library, a modern glassy building, and he looked up at it every so often then back down at his sketchpad to draw what he saw. Cars would drive by every so often — it was a busy street — so Zayn did a lot of sitting there doing nothing but fighting the cold and keeping the feeling in his feet. He didn't have his boots on today, opting instead for a pair of grey Nike Air Force Ones, and it made it much easier to cross his ankles or sit on his leg without the bulkiness of the boot's sturdy material.

There was a small soup kitchen next door to the library with benches outside that were filled with people every time Zayn looked up. They were all dirty and shivering in their worn and torn coats that they probably thrifted from someone's trash the year before. Zayn took pity on some of them but others he was flat out confused as to why they were there. They appeared perfectly healthy and didn't seem to have any physical disabilities. He wondered why they weren't out looking for jobs. He had passed the dry cleaner's building yesterday on his way home from school and they had a sign in the window, advertising that if attending an interview for a job, they would dry clean your new clothes for free. Zayn wondered if it was just him but if he was in those people's position, he'd be busting his ass looking for a job rather than bumming around outside the soup kitchen. Job equals money and money equals food. But maybe Zayn just didn't have a heart. He shrugged. That was probably it.

The traffic slowed down again and Zayn got a clear view of the library's front doors. He started to sketch them neatly on the paper, paying close attention to the flyers on the window, when he heard loud, obnoxious laughter across the street. He looked up, squinting. There was a blonde boy about his age standing outside the soup kitchen, a pale green apron on over his clothes and a hairnet over his hair. He was laughing at something one of the old men said as he handed them a bowl of steaming hot food. Zayn watched as the man took the warm bowl into his cold hands, inhaling the smell of the soup, probably chicken or vegetable beef. Zayn's heart twitched at the sight. The man lit up like a child on Christmas when the boy handed him a plastic spoon to eat with. At that very moment, the boy looked up and Zayn gasped.

_Niall worked at a soup kitchen?_

With his viscious party habits and a tendency to get drunk most nights of the week, Zayn would have never guessed that Niall volunteered at the soup kitchen. I mean, anyone could do it but Zayn had never expected Niall to be one of those people.

Niall noticed him looking and waved like they were best friends. He was bright and smily, looking very sober despite his heavy drinking last night. His breath probably smelled like miny toothpaste and tea and a small part of Zayn wanted to kiss him just to check. Wait. No, he didn't want to kiss Niall. No. It's just the chilly weather making him forget all the shit Niall pulls at his parties. Yeah. That't it.

Zayn was still too stunned to respond and he didn't snap out of it until he registered the hurt on Niall's face even from as far away as he was. Why was he so upset? Because Zayn didn't wave back? Or something else? Zayn looked away quickly, fearing that Niall could see his earlier judgement in his body language. What would Niall think if he could've read Zayn's mind at that moment?

Zayn dropped his pencil at the thought, the wooden object rolling down the sidewalk and into the street. Before Zayn could get up to save it, a dirty white minivan ran over it.

Zayn had a feeling Niall would do the same thing to his heart if he gave him the chance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is currently under construction. As of right now, there is mentions of rape so, a warning for anyone who is sensitive to that sort of thing :)

As soon as December first rolled around, the Christmas lights on Niall's house had gone up and staring at those fuckers at three in the morning when he was trying to catch the only rerun of the Seinfeld pilot episode was something that Zayn was not mentally equipped to handle. He loved Christmas, he did, but anyone who puts their lights up before the first of December was a fucking idiot. People were still recovering from stuffing their faces the week before and the little blonde shit wasted no time jumping into the next holiday and it was really starting to grind Zayn's gears. He just couldn't handle getting up in the middle of the night to sneak a few cookies behind Liam's back — having to glance out the window to make sure it was actually still dark out because those damn lights were brighter than the damn sun — because after a light show like that, it was next to impossible to get back to sleep. And to make things worse, the lack of sleep he was getting every night was starting to show. He had bags under his eyes and he was so tired during the day that he couldn't even stay awake long enough for his tea water to finish heating, not waking again until the damn thing sreamed bloody murder. In short, Niall was making him miserable and he hated it so much that he wanted to go over there and knock his lights out. In all senses of the word. And he would, except that Niall wasn't home. He was up on Zayn's roof, wearing a big ass winter coat and boots, while he played his little guitar obsessed heart out. Zayn wanted to pull his hair out. That boy had absolutely _no_ boundaries. Why he was on _Zayn's_ roof as opposed to his own was a mystery yet to be solved.

"Zayn?" Liam called from the top of the stairs. "Is that you down there watching tv?"

Zayn swore under his breath as he shoved the open package of cookies under the couch as discreetly as he could just in case Liam decided to come down.

"Yeah. Seinfeld's on." Zayn replied back.

"You have that on DVD, Zayn." Liam pointed out and Zayn knew by his tone that he was wiping his face.

"I know. But it's different watching it on tv. You don't get it." Zayn insisted and Liam sighed.

"Just keep it down. I have to work tomorrow. And turn off the damn lights, will you? You don't need them on, really."

"Those lights are our lovely neighbor's Christmas decorations. If his holiday spirit bothers you, take it up with him. He's up on the roof." Zayn replied, turning up the volume on the television, the meaning obvious: fuck off.

Liam sighed, too tired to deal with the fact that Zayn just told him their neighbor was on the roof. Zayn listened as his foot falls got softer and his bedroom door closed. Once he was sure Liam wasn't coming back out, he reached down and pulled the cookies back out, nearly finishing the package before he fell asleep, the television still on.

 

"What's this?" Liam demanded, tapping his bare foot on the hardwood. Zayn cracked open a crusty eyelid and peered up at Liam — who was frowning and holding the basically empty cookie package. Zayn sighed, swearing silently as he turned away from Liam in favor of burying his head in the back of the couch. He twitched slightly when the blue throw blanket he was using was yanked away, exposing his half naked body, and Liam grabbed his shoulder to turn him around. Zayn fell lazily into whatever position Liam was putting him in, too tired to put up a decent fight.

"Zayn, answer the question."

"They're fucking snacks, Liam. What the hell do they look like?" Zayn grumbled into his hand as he wiped crumbs from his face.

"I see that." He said, dropping the package on Zayn's stomach. "What are they doing here? I told you no snacks. They're not good for you. I put up with your smoking because I understand your reasons behind it. But I will not sit back while you shove this shit down your throat just because you want to. It's a heart attack in a pretty package, Zayn. Quit buying 'em."

Zayn sighed as he tossed the package onto the table. He _really_ didn't want to stop buying them. They were really good and after about four months of this, he's gotten used it. It's going to be so hard to adjust that Zayn almost wished that Liam had found out sooner.

"What time is it?" He asked, sitting up.

"Time for you to get dressed. You've slept long enough."

Zayn looked up, confused. "What?"

Liam tossed the cookie package in the trash bin and turned to face Zayn. "I ran into Niall this morning on my run. We talked a bit. And you know what he said?"

Zayn shook his head. "No. What?"

"He told me that you showed up at his party the other night and you were a complete dick." Liam crossed his arms across his chest. "It's okay to be unhappy with the party scene but you need to stop with this taking it out on Niall shit. It's not funny anymore."

Zayn sighed, wiping his face. "Can I tell you something?"

Liam sat down on the couch beside him, the cushion dipping under his weight. "Of course. You know you can tell me anything."

Zayn nodded. "Well, I went sketching yesterday at the library and you know that soup kitchen right next to it?"

Liam nodded.

"Niall volunteers there. I seen him outside handing a bowl of soup to a homeless man."

Liam looked at him in surprise. "He does? Did you talk to him?"

Zayn scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, no. I didn't."

"Why not?"

He shook his head. "I don't know, Liam. I just didn't. But,"

"But what, Zayn?" Liam prodded. 

Zayn shook his head, sighing as he stood up to pace the room. He wasn't sure if he could tell Liam what was on his mind because if _he_ couldn't make sense of it, how was Liam supposed to? He wanted to tell Liam. He really wanted to. But he didn't know where to start.

"Zayn," Liam said softly. "Are you alright?"

Zayn took a deep breathe. "I, uh, I think something happened yesterday."

"What do you mean? Something bad? Did something happen to Niall? 'Cos he didn't mention it this morning."

Zayn shook his head. "No, no. Nothing like that. I meant, that something happened to me."

Liam stared at him for a moment before recognition ran across his face. "Oh my God. You realised that you like him, didn't you?"

Zayn frowned at him, stopping his pacing because it was creating a draft. "You think that's what that was?"

Liam nodded, getting off the couch to rest a hand on Zayn's shoulder, body tilted towards the kitchen, looking into his warm brown eyes, like melted Reese's Cups. "I'm certain."

Zayn sighed, relieved to have his feelings deciphered. "So, what should I do?"

"Well," Liam said, moving away from him and into the kitchen, his voice carrying. "First thing you need to do is march your ass over there and apologise."

"Apologise?"

"Yes. Because you're a dick." Liam reminded him, putting the kettle on.

"And the second thing?"

"Spend time with him." He said simply. "By spending time with him, you'll be able to further sort out your feelings."

"What about after that?" Zayn asked. "When I've sorted them out."

"You tell him and see if he feels the same way."

"And if he doesn't?" Zayn asked, his voice suddenly thick.

"I think he will. I mean, think about it. He invites you to his parties even though you've been nothing but an ass to him, he plays guitar outside your bedroom window at three in the morning, he —"

"Okay, okay!" Zayn butt in. "I get it. He probably likes me."

Liam smiled. "Harry told me he eye raped you after that night when you guys first met."

Zayn furrowed his brows but then he remembered the look Niall gave him while he was tossing out the shards of the mug, his eyes raking up and down Zayn's bare torso. So Niall liked him from when they first met? Even when Zayn was total dick to him?

Liam nodded, reading Zayn's mind. "That's love right there. Or atleast lust. But I'm going to go with the former."

Zayn took a deep breath. He didn't know about the love part but he figured that Niall definitely liked him. Who else would buy a complete stranger a powerwasher? Zayn wouldn't.

But Niall did.

  —∞—

 

Niall's house was quiet, as usual this time of day, and the driveway was empty which meant that Niall's numerous housemates were out and Zayn crossed his fingers hoping that Niall stayed behind. He'd finally gotten the courage to come over, Liam having left for a work a while ago. But not without a stern reminder to Zayn about apologising. Zayn assured him he would, if not for Niall then himself. it was time.

He didn't think he was ready.

 _"It's fine, Zayn."_ Liam's voice soothed inside his cluttered head. _"Just relax."  
_

Zayn took a deep breath as he shoved his hands in his pockets, walking up the cracked footpath to Niall's porch, grass growing bright green in the cracks. The curtains were drawn so if anyone was inside they wouldn't see him approaching. Should he decide to chicken out and run home, no one will ever know.

Slowly walking up the blue steps, Zayn felt his heart beating and he could feel the sweat collecting on his palms and the back of his neck. He was crazy nervous to do this. He'd been a dick to Niall since he moved in, really. That much was clear. Now, having to apologise for the other night, it was going to seem like he was sorry for everything. Which he wasn't. But in a way, he supposed he should've been. Once Niall's finds out that he likes him, all of this is going to come across as Zayn being mean to Niall because he wants to kiss him and do couply things which, let's be honest, is so fourth grade. Zayn was in college. Being that way doesn't work unless you're into hate sex. Which Zayn isn't. At least he doesn't think so.

Raising his right fist to knock, the reality of what Zayn was doing settled on him and he was tempted to leave right then. But he was being petty. It's only apologising. Not a big deal. He knocked twice and he heard something shift inside. Listening closely, he could hear some sort of sports game on tv and like he thought, all the lights were out. He'd say Niall's electricity was out but given that the Christmas lights were still on, that obviously wasn't true.

Footsteps sounded close by and before Zayn could react the door was opening. Niall stood there dressed in only a pair of snug turquoise boxers, a coffee mug in his left hand. His hair was messy, the brown roots slowing seeping into the entirety of his hair. He looked mildly surprised to Zayn but he quickly covered it with one of his infectious and practically permanent smiles, teeth showing and Zayn could smell the peppermint tea on his breath when he spoke.

"Zayn. What a surprise." His smile didn't falter though Zayn could see his blue eyes scanning him over in a gentle assessment, as opposed to the eye-raping Liam had mentioned earlier. "Can I help you with anything? Want some tea? Some brownies? I only baked them this morning. They're really good. Promise."

"Are they weed brownies?"

Niall quickly mocked offense. "What? No! Believe it or not, I don't smoke pot. And if did, I wouldn't offer you pot brownies without telling you that there's pot in them. I'm not a _total_ ass."

Zayn smirked. "Then, sure. I'll take one. And some of that peppermint tea you're drinking as well."

Niall raised his eyebrows. "How did you --" He shook his head. "Never mind. It's because I opened my big fat mouth, isn't it? Jesus. Do you want to come in, then?"

Zayn nodded and moved passed Niall and into the house. It smelled like tea and he could see the glass pan of brownies on the counter in the kitchen. He could hear Niall close the door behind him and he could feel him standing in front of it, his eyes on Zayn's t-shirt covered back.

The air in the house was cool and Zayn briefly wondered why the heat wasn't on but when he saw the huge pink Afghan on the couch, he kind of figured. Without the heat on, Niall could snuggle comfortably under a blanket on the couch without getting hot. Made sense. Zayn would have done the same thing.

"Do you, uh, wanna sit down while I get your brownie and tea?" Niall asked. "It'll only take a minute. You can watch some of the game."

Zayn nodded as Niall shuffled into the kitchen. Zayn caught a whiff of his aftershave as he sat down on the couch and he fought back a smile at the pleasant scent, careful not wrinkle Niall's blanket. A soccer game between Portugal and Brazil was paused on the television which, Zayn noticed, was a massive flat screen. He wondered if Niall had paid for it himself.

The couch was a soft cocoa colour and comfortable as hell, big enough to seat about five people or to sleep on without folding up uncomfortably and Zayn leaned back into it somewhat awkwardly as Niall came in again, now dressed in a pair of nice fitting jeans, probably out of courtesy, still shirtless. He handed Zayn a small saucer with a decent sized brownie on it and a lavender mug with steam coming out of it. Zayn took a sip of the hot tea, nearly burning his tongue but he quickly swallowed it to avoid looking like an idiot in front of Niall.

"Do you like it? It's my favourite." Niall smiled. That would explain why he always smells like mint. Zayn thought it was his toothpaste or something.

Zayn nodded. "Yeah. It's a bit hot, but yeah. It's good."

Niall's grin widened as he leaned back into the couch, looking similar to Zayn in posture as he took a drink of hisown tea. "I'm glad. And I hope you know that'll be seriously offended if you don't like the brownie. I baked my sweat and tears into that."

Zayn chuckled, taking a bite. "No, it's good, too. You're a good baker."

Niall smirked. "Complements, eh? I think I like this."

Zayn rolled his eyes as he finished the brownie. Niall smiled as he unpaused the game, devoting his full attention to it. Because Zayn was in no way athletically inclined, he took the opportunity to examine Niall more closely. He had pulled his legs up onto the couch and was resting his left elbow on his knee, his eyes widening momentarily at something happening on the screen and Zayn smiled softly when he licked his bottom lip in anticipation before shooting to his feet, shouting his approval at the goal scored. He patted Zayn's upper arm in quick succession, laughing lightly. Zayn glanced down at Niall's fingers on his arm, now gripping easily as Niall leaned forward to get closer to to the screen.

"C'mon," he said wistfully.

"Who're you rooting for?" Zayn asked, drinking more of his tea quickly in case Niall decided to suddenly jump up again.

"Portugal." Niall said absently, still focused on the tv.

"Any reason?"

Niall shook his head. "Not really. One of my best mates is from there, if that counts."

Zayn nodded though Niall didn't see it. He held his mug in his hand as he looked around. The living room was relatively average in size, smaller than Zayn's actually, and he figured that maybe that's why Niall holds the bulk of most of his parties outside. There simply wasn't enough room inside to hold that much people comfortably.

"Yes! Yes! Fuck, I knew it!" Niall shouted, hopping up and down like a teenage girl at a concert. Zayn smiled as he set his mug down on the coffee table, feeling out of place all of a sudden.

"Did Portugal win?"

Niall nodded."They fucking did. As I predicted."

He stood to take away Zayn's plate and mug like a proper host and Zayn opened his mouth to protest but Niall rested a hand on his shoulder that didn't go unnoticed.

"Really, Zayn? I'm offering to clean up your shit, which includes washing them, mind you, and you're protesting? Get the fuck out. It's my house, and you're a guest. It's part of my hosting duties to wipe your ass."

Zayn smiled slowly and Niall removed his hand. Zayn turned in his seat to watch him walk across the foyer and into the open kitchen which was surprisingly clean and tidy for a frat house. Zayn was mildly impressed as he stood to follow Niall. He leaned against the door frame as Niall set the dishes in the sink and started the water. Zayn could see the muscles in his back flex as he moved his arms, wiping a green sponge over the mugs silently. There was a window over the sink, nearly identical to the one above Zayn's and looking out it, Zayn could see the window to his living room. The one that had beer spilt on it, to be exact. Was Niall watching him when he cleaned off the beer? Probably not. Zayn had found him outside and there was no way he could have moved that fast in his then drunken state.

"Like the view?"

"What?" Zayn had zoned out and he hadn't noticed that Niall had finished the dishes and was now standing a few feet away from him. Zayn realised he had left his eyes trained on Niall when he spaced. His back, but when he turned it became his stomach. Niall probably thought Zayn was checking him out. Which, to be honest, he sort of was.

"I, uh. I'm not sure I know what you're getting at."

Niall raised his eyebrows, a hungry smirk tugging at his lips. He stayed silent longer than Zayn anticipated. "You're a shit liar."

Zayn furrowed his brows. Was Niall calling him out? Zayn shoved his hands in his pockets, desperate to shove down the feeling climbing his throat. Niall was definitely calling his bluff and he confirmed it when he moved closer and Zayn didn't move away, not entirely sure of what was happening.

"What? No asshole remarks? No dick moves? Why Zayn, dare I say it but," he paused "I'm impressed."

His tone was snarky and undertoned with something Zayn couldn't put his finger on. The only thing he could do was open his mouth to say something bitchy like he was certain Niall was expecting but instead Niall moved even closer. His mouth was two inches away from Zayn's lips, teasing. Zayn wasn't sure what to do. Should he take the plunge and kiss him? Or should he back away and make a hasty exit, convincing himself that Niall is probably treating this as a joke and doesn't actually intend to kiss him?

"Zayn," Niall said softly.

"Yes?'

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

Zayn hesitated but only briefly. "Yes. I do."

Niall smiled and leaned in slowly. Zayn kept his open and though he didn't have far to go at all, Niall stopped right before their lips made contact and pulled away, a cute expression on his face.

"Which," he paused, a regretful look crossing his features. "Is exactly why I'm not going to."

Fuck.

 —∞—

Zayn thought about the situation the next day in his car, waiting outside the coffee shop for Liam's shift to end. He hadn't told Liam what happened yesterday because despite going over to Niall's with apologising to him in mind, he never actually did it. He instead spent his time eating Niall's brownies and drinking his tea while admiring how good he looked shirtless and how attractive he looked in those denim jeans, hugging his pretty nonexistent ass just the way they were designed to. He cursed himself for getting distracted but he'd gotten something else done yesterday. He realised after he'd left that Niall looked regretful about not kissing him because he'd actually wanted to. Which meant that he was probably into Zayn the same way Zayn was into him. Not a bad thing.

The door to the coffee shop opened -- the bell above the door ringing -- and Liam emerged, a brown paper bag in his right hand and his shoulder bag in the other. His black jeans were hanging low on his hips since he wasn't in a position to pull the up and he looked, well, tired. His hair was a mess and there were bags under his eyes. How late was he out last night?

Getting out of the car, Zayn hurried to help him, taking both bags for him. Liam smiled at him thankfully as he moved towards the car like zombie. Zayn opened his door for him and waited for him to climb in before closing it and going around to his own side. He handed Liam the brown bag and set the shoulder bag on the floorboards by Liam's feet. He smelled like coffee and breath mints and Zayn patted his leg when he leaned his head against the window.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "No offense, but you look like shit."

"Thanks, Zayn." He smiled. "I went out last night, as you know, and I guess things got out of control."

"What do you mean?"

'Well, I had a few beers." He started. "Don't look at me like that. It was _three._ "

"Okay. So you had three beers. That doesn't exactly get you smashed enough to deem things out of control, Liam." Zayn pointed out, watching traffic until he could pull out.

"You didn't let me finish. I had a few beers, did some body shots," Zayn looked over at that. "And I might have went home with someone."

Zayn tapped his fingers against the steering wheel like it was a drum. "I still don't get it. That sounds like a normal night out for someone our age."

"Zayn, I went home with a lad."

Oh. That's not normal. Not for Liam. "A lad. I thought -- what about that girl you're with?"

Liam rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "We broke up. Like a week ago."

"Oh. So this lad. Did he force you to do anything?" Zayn asked, raising his hackles.

Liam looked away. "I don't know. He might have. I don't really drink so I was pretty drunk off the beers and body shots alone. I could have gone along with anything."

Zayn sighed, nearly resting his head on the steering wheel until he remembered he was in the middle of rush hour traffic. "Liam, that guy raped you."

Liam was quick to deny that. "You don't know that!"

"Did he actually ask you if you wanted his dick up your fucking ass?" Zayn exclaimed.

"Well, no."

"Did you give any indication that you didn't want sex?"

Liam shrugged. "I might have pushed him away once or twice but he looked at me funny when I did so I stopped and just let him."

Zayn turned to glare at him so fast he almost lost control of the car. "Liam! You let that guy take advantage of you! Who was it? Do you remember what he looks like? Did he take you back to his house? Fuck, I'm gonna beat his ass."

Liam laughed half-heartedly. "No, you're not. Have you seen you? I know you look like a badass Greek god but you're skinny as fuck. He looked like he sleeps at the gym. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"But I still want to. I'll even get Harry and Niall and all of his housemates in on it. I will end this bastard." Zayn said harshly, turning onto their street.

"Zayn, don't. I don't want anyone to know. I only told you cos you would have figured it out anyway." Liam pleaded as Zayn parked the car on the curb, shutting off the engine with anger still running through his veins.

"Why not, Liam? Don't want this guy to get his ass thrown in jail? Don't you want him to pay for what he did to you?"

Liam didn't reply. "What is it? You didn't actually like it, did you? As rough as he probably was?"

Silence. "Oh my God, you did. Fuck, Liam. You know I'm not against that particular thing but he still fucked you without your permission. That's rape, Liam. _Rape._ "

"I know." Liam whispered. "I know. But I didn't tell him to stop either."

"Maybe not." Zayn said, sitting back. "But you sure as hell tried to stop him from starting and that's enough for me."

"Zayn, please don't do anything. And please don't tell Harry. _Please."_

Zayn closed his eyes before glancing over at Liam. "Fine. I won't tell. But promise me it won't happen again. You can have sex with other guys, I don't care about that. Just not this guy again. Not like that."

Liam nodded. "I promise. Now, what's for dinner? I'm starving."

—∞—

The party next door let loose around 8:30, right around the time Zayn started digging around in the kitchen for a snack. Liam had already gone to bed and Zayn planned on spending the rest of the night engrossing himself in Leonardo DiCaprio movies on the couch with movie butter popcorn and Cheddar & Sour Cream potato chips, just relaxing with a sketch pad as usual, probably wishing he had an animal to cuddle with. Or perhaps, a person.

Carrying his loot into the living room, he threw himself down onto the couch, careful not to crush his chips. He set everything out on the table, making sure to leave a space for his feet when he leaned back. Gangs of New York was already starting and Zayn could see every detail in the dark room, his curtains drawn to keep from looking at Niall's party guests and the Christmas lights that Zayn still secretly resents. A blue bohemian Afghan was gathered around his legs and his hair was flat on his forehead. He was wearing an nothing but a pair of tight, dark blue boxers that honestly left little to the imagination but who was going to seem them anyway?

The sound of Zayn opening his cheddar chips echoed loudly in the room and he pulled one out. He liked the smell of them and they tasted even better, though Liam absolutely hated them. Zayn strongly suspects that that's because he basically hates all things considered "non-healthy". Well, Liam can piss off.

After about ten minutes of completely calm movie watching and chip eating, the music next door suddenly came to a halt. The lights in the house went out, including the Christmas lights.

Zayn frowned, talking to himself. "What? What's going on over there? What's he's doing?"

No one answered, of course. Zayn didn't expect anyone to. He climbed out from his comfy position on his comfy couch and puttered over to the window, scratching his stomach as he walked. He pulled back the curtain on the window, Batman ones if it matters, and looked out. The house was completely dark and everyone was gathered in Niall's front lawn. It appeared to be a mob of some sort and Zayn wondered if there was a fight or if someone had collapsed. Knowing Niall's guests, it was probably the latter.

Deciding on a whim to check things out for himself, Zayn slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans because duh, they're his favourite, laced up his boots, and grabbed the black, grey and white button up he was wearing earlier. He slipped it on, failing to button it entirely and slid a grey beanie over his hair to fight the chill. Walking out the door, he whistled at the temperature and thought about the countless times his evening had played out in a similar way as this one. What was he supposed to do about that? This time of day was obviously the golden time of opportunity.

He shoved his bare hands into his pockets and climbed his fence, walking in the grass straight over to Niall's front lawn. The mob was still holding tight and Zayn could see through all the obnoxiously bare legs that someone had indeed collapsed and they were surrounded by several people who probably had no idea what to do. Zayn pushed his way through and someone elbowed him hard.

"What the fuck, man?" He exclaimed, clutching his now sore side.

"Who the hell are you?" He slurred. Okay. Obviously drunk off his ass. "Huh? Who?"

Zayn rolled his eyes and moved past him anyway. At the front of the mob he finally saw who had collapsed.

"Niall!" He surged forward and crouched down next to him.

"Hey man," someone called. "Whataya doin'?"

"I'm a nurse." Zayn lied, checking Niall's pulse. Did he collapse from the alcohol? Zayn's never known that to happen to him before.

Working his skinny arms under Niall's skinny midsection, he stood to his feet and carried Niall through the crowd and up the porch steps. One of Niall's housemates, an athletic type called Josh, was smoking on the swing.

"Where's his room?" Zayn asked, gesturing to Niall with his eyes.

"Upstairs. First door. You'll see it walking up the stairs."

"Thanks."

He carried Niall up the stairs and opened the door, pushing it open further with his foot as he stepped in. The walls were a rich dark blue and covered in absolutely nothing except for a large ass photo of what appeared to be the countryside somewhere in the UK or Ireland, probably Ireland if he placed Niall's slight accent correctly. It covered a good bit of the wall next to Niall's bed and was obviously the main attraction. The rest of room consisted of a closet, a small desk, and several types of guitars.

"Jesus Christ, this room is clean." Zayn remarked as he dumped Niall gently on the bed. The room even smelled like peppermint. _I think I've discovered one of his fetishes_ , Zayn thought as he stepped back from the bed. He slipped off Niall's green Converses and tucked him in underneath the sky blue comforter before falling back into the cushioned desk chair. The whole ordeal tired him out a fair bit because he was skinny and obviously didn't visit the gym as much as he probably should. He slipped off his beanie and ran a shaky hand through his hair. He glanced over at Niall and scanned his body under the covers. He was wearing khaki chinos and blue t-shirt almost the exact same colour as the walls and blue Nike Air Force Ones that were now on the pale hardwood floor. Even from his place across the room, Zayn could smell the peppermint and cocoa that he'd started to associate with Niall.

Niall was still laying peacefully in the bed a whole five minutes later so Zayn stood to leave. He had left his movie running and because he hasn't seen it before, he doesn't know what he's missed. He put his beanie back on and he heard Niall wake up as soon as his hand touched the brass knob.

"Zayn?" His voice was soft and his Irish accent very much alive. "Is that you?"

"Yeah. What is it?"

"C'mere. Wanna tell you somethin'." He replied, turning on his side and burying his face in the pillow.

"Does it need to be right now? I'm kind of missing something." Zayn realised he was being rude the second it left his mouth but Niall brushed him off.

"You mean the body shots? Ah, don't sweat it. They'll be doing them again in fifteen minutes, guarantee it."

"Actually, uh. It's not important. What do you wanna tell me?" Zayn had moved closer while saying the second sentence and Niall reached out to grab his hand, pulling him violently close. His mouth was right next to Zayn's ear when he spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

"What the hell for?"

Niall chuckled. "For keeping you here. For not kissing you yesterday when I should have."

Zayn decided to pretend that he didn't hear that last part. "You're not keeping me here, Niall. To be honest, if I didn't want to be here, I never would have come."

"So you don't mind carrying my drunk ass past a bunch of people and up a flight of stairs?" Niall asked.

"Not really. I mean, you're heavy as fuck but no one else was doing anything so," Zayn explained, moving back as far as Niall's outstretched arm would let him.

"How nice of you." Niall smirked, pulling him close once more. The next thing he said was a whisper but he might as well not have said anything at all once his lips kissed Zayn's cheek like a ghost. It was softer than the words that had escaped only seconds before.

"Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one my personal favorite chapters :) Zayn is a lot softer and more mild in this chapter because he's been such a dick and it's been killing me to write him that way. So, enjoy nice Zayn :)

 

The sweet sound of Christmas music reached Zayn's ears through the fabric of his beanie as he made his way around to the back of his house, hands in the pockets of his jeans even though he was wearing gloves. Christmas was fast approaching and Niall had gotten a head start on the decorations two weeks ago, the lights going up as soon as November ended. While the Christmas spirit was nice to see, it looked a little out of place seeing as how he was the only person on the block who had put them up already.

Zayn reached the shed out behind his house and pulled out a set of brass keys, searching for the one that unlocked the door. He had put his Christmas tree in there last year after the holiday ended so he knew it was in there. It was just a matter of whether or not he was going to find it.

Unlocking the door, he pulled it open and sighed when he came face to face with the mess inside. There was shit all over the place. Forget Niall's electrical problems. The _real_ miracle would be if Zayn could find his Christmas tree before Christmas.

He stepped inside the shed, stepping over a can of paint as he went. He figured the tree would be somewhere near the front since it was used last year and he never really uses the shed but a quick look around told him that finding this Christmas tree was going to be no easy feat.

The song changed and it got louder as Niall turned it up, it apparently being one his favorites, White Christmas by Michael Bublè playing loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. Zayn tried his best to block it out but he was having a lot of trouble looking for the tree and doing that at the same time, seeing as how it was only eight in the morning.

He stepped around a torn box of ornaments and almost walked passed them before he realised what they were. He stooped down to pick up the box, carrying it outside and setting it on the dew covered lawn. He needed to mow it but figured it was going to snow soon so there was really no point in doing it because no one would see it. Or care.

He walked back into the shed and moved to the back where he left off so he could continue looking for that stupid tree. He kicked aside a box of art supplies that haven't been touched since he moved in when he decided to turn the office into an art room instead. He contemplated throwing it out on the curb but decided against it. He'd use it eventually.

Moving on, he pushed his red lawn mower out of the way and he perked up when he spotted a box long enough to house a refrigerator. Or a Christmas tree. He reached in to pull it out but it was underneath a bunch of other shit so he had to remove that first. Once it was out of the way, he dragged the tree box out of the shed and looked around, making sure there was nothing else he needed. Satisfied, he closed the doors to the shed and locked them, slipping the keys back into his pocket. He picked up the ornament box and carried that into the house first. He set it down on the coffee table in the living room and hurried back out to get the tree. When he got outside, he noticed it was quiet. The music had gone and he wondered what Niall was up to. He shook it off, telling himself that whatever Niall and his housemates were up to was none of his business.

He arrived back at the shed and picked up one end of the tree box when a voice startled him, the box nearly landing on his foot.

"Need help with that?"

He looked up to see Niall standing there in tight-fitting, dark grey cargo style pants, a black winter coat, soft blue reindeer boots, and a grey beanie that was nearly identical to Zayn's. His hands were in his pockets but Zayn could clearly the see the top of his black gloves. He was smiling and Zayn noticed the shine of chapstick on his pink lips. Niall smirked at him and Zayn drew his eyes away before Niall got the wrong idea. He didn't look like he'd collapsed last night. He looked perfectly normal.

"Um, sure. Thanks."

Niall moved over to grab the other end of the box and started talking as they walked towards the house.

"So, I'm throwing a Christmas party tomorrow and I was just wondering if you, I don't know, wanted to come? I'm pretty respectful of the Christmas holiday so it's not gonna be a massive drunk rager like usual but there will be alcohol. Let me be clear on that." He paused. "Even though that probably doesn't matter to you because you don't drink."

Zayn nearly dropped his end of the box as they carried it up the front steps. "You remembered that?"

He nodded. "Of course. It's an important detail about someone. Especially if you expect them to show up at some of your parties. That's the only reason I provide Coke and water, you know. Just incase you decide to drop by. Which, you usually do. Just not for the reasons I'd like."

He mumbled the last part and when Zayn's heart did a backflip in his chest, he pretended like he didn't hear it.

"Oh. Well, I'm happy that you remembered." Zayn smiled, turning to open the front door. He waited back and let Niall back into the house first before following him in, pulling the door closed to keep the heat in. He didn't pay for heating just to have it fly out the front door.

"Anytime. Now where do you want this?" Over here?"

Zayn nodded at the open space he had cleared to the left of the door when you walked in. There was a window there facing Niall's house — the same one he cleaned beer off of last month — and Zayn instructed Niall to help him set up the tree there. Niall nodded, slipping off his coat, gloves, and beanie because it was far too warm to be in the house with all those clothes on. Zayn did the same and knelt down to help Niall pull the parts of the tree out. It was obviously a fake tree. Zayn didn't want a real one because that meant having to sweep up all the pine needles when it was over and by that time he was tired enough from all the festivities. The last thing he wanted to do when he was tired was to clean.

They got the base of the tree out and Niall set it up while Zayn dug around the box for the next piece. He grabbed it out and it inserted it on top of the other one. He started fluffing the branches out while Niall grabbed the rest of the pieces. He got the next one but he was too short to reach the top so Zayn had to do it, stretching up alongside Niall to put it in, his fingers brushing Niall's, their faces _dangerously_ close. Zayn stood there for a moment looking at him. _He's a lot cuter up close,_ Zayn's heart whispered. He realised what he'd just thought and he jerked away, shifting awkwardly. Niall just smiled and grabbed the ornament box from the table, not appearing bothered in the slightest and Zayn wished he had that kind of nonchalance. As Niall returned, he was wearing a small — almost hidden — smirk on his face and Zayn realised that Niall knew exactly what just happened and he was okay with it.

"Put the bulbs on the bottom." Zayn told him, still avoiding his eyes. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help it. "I like the more unique stuff on top."

"Why?" Niall asked, attaching a bulb to one of the bottom branches.

"I don't know. I've just always done it like that. There's not a lot of bulbs though. Otherwise it'd make the tree look like shit."

Niall laughed as put the rest of the bulbs on, reaching back into the box to get some of the more unique ornaments, smiling when he pulled out one that was shaped like an easel.

"Did you make this?" He asked, holding it up.

Zayn glanced down at it as he fluffed the top of the tree. "Yeah. About three years ago when I really started to get into art. I actually made all of them except for the bulbs."

Niall's eyes widened and he turned back to the box to see what else was in there. He pulled out a paintbrush, a bag of chips, a sketchbook, a Seinfeld DVD case, and his personal favorite, an acoustic guitar. He smiled as he held it up.

"I really like this one. They're all good though. Really. I don't have any if this on my tree. It's all bulbs and candy canes and shit."

Zayn smiled, blushing at the complement. "Thanks."

His heart warmed at how Niall continued to stare fondly at the guitar ornament even as he hung it on the tree. He smiled to himself, an idea forming in his mind.

Once they finished decorating, they both stepped back to admire their handiwork. Niall smiled as he rested his hands on his hips. "What do you think?"

"I think it looks really good. Thanks for helping me. I appreciate it." Zayn told him, his eyes raking up and down the tree.

Niall placed his arm on Zayn's shoulder and leaned on it, Zayn flinching slightly at the close contact. "Anytime, mate. I'm always happy to help, remember?"

"Yeah," Zayn said, moving into the kitchen, Niall trailing close behind. "I remember."

He heard Niall take a seat at the kitchen table as he put the kettle on, grabbing the box of hot chocolate from the cupboard. He heard Niall humming under his breath and was surprised with how he relaxed he was around Niall today. He was usually tense and a bit quick to snap. Maybe the holiday season was getting a hold on his heart.

"You put sugar in your cocoa, Zayn?" Niall asked, playing with the salt and pepper shakers.

Zayn shrugged. "A little. It's mostly cinnamon and a bit of hazelnut creamer."

"Really?" Niall asked. "Is that good?"

Zayn nodded casually. "I don't know. I like it. Why? Do you want me to add some to yours, too?"

"Um," he hesitated. "Yeah. Go ahead. I'll try it."

Zayn smiled as the kettle screeched, pouring the liquid into the mugs and adding the cocoa powder. "You'll like it."

He added in a pinch of cinnamon and poured in a spoonful of hazelnut creamer, stirring it up and handing it to Niall. He did the same to his and grabbed two spoons from the drawer, handing one to Niall.

"What's the spoon for?"

"I use it to sip my chocolate until it's cool enough to drink." Zayn explained, sipping a spoonful. Niall watched him do it and tried it for himself.

"Huh. That makes sense. I've never thought of that." He smiled. "You're pretty smart."

Zayn looked away smiling as he took another sip. "I'm sure you're smart, too. You just express it differently."

Niall chuckled like he didn't believe it. "Yeah. Okay."

They drank in silence for a few minutes. Zayn watched the weather outside change. The sky was clear and blue when they'd brought the tree in but now it was slowly starting to shift to cloudy and grey. Zayn wondered if it was going to snow sometime soon.

"Can I ask you something?" Niall asked suddenly.

Zayn looked over at him. "Sure. What is it?"

"Why are you being so nice to me today? I thought you were a dickhead."

Zayn stayed silent to that. He noticed his behaviour but he didn't expect Niall to. Looks like Niall was a lot smarter than he thinks. But then again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to spot changes in someone's behaviour when they're usually pretty consistent.

He stirred his chocolate around as he opened his mouth to speak. "I, uh, I don't know, to be honest. I guess I just woke up in a nice mood today. Why? Do you want me to go back to being a dickhead?"

Niall shook his head quickly. "No, no. I like you like this."

Zayn smiled, touched. "Thanks, Niall."

"But I like your dickhead side, too." He mumbled, so quiet that Zayn wasn't even sure he heard it.

  —∞—

 Zayn could hear Christmas music playing when he got out of the shower. Niall's party started thirty minutes ago but Zayn was late. He'd fallen asleep on the couch earlier, meaning to take a forty minute nap but it ended up turning into a two hour one and he had to rush through his shower.

Shrugging on a pair of tight denim jeans and a cream sweater, he grabbed his hair brush and hairspray from the bathroom and stood before the mirror to quiff his hair. Harry and Liam were supposed to tag along but they were already there so Zayn was left to go alone simply because he couldn't get his ass off the couch in time.

Once his hair was finished, he brushed his teeth and laced uo his boots. He didn't bother grabbing a coat because he figured that the party would be taking place inside so it wasn't really sensible to bring a jacket.

He texted Harry to tell him that he was on his way as he headed out the door, locking it behind him. Snow was falling lightly outside and the little white flakes landed in Zayn's hair and melted into the dark strands as he unlatched the fence gate. He locked it behind him as he shoved his hands into his pockets, walking down the footpath towards Niall's house, the music getting louder the closer he got. For once there wasn't two hundred people outside his house, drunk and naked. That alone made this party different than his other ragers.

Zayn walked up to the porch, his black boots landing hard foot falls on the already peeling stairs. Zayn shook his head, chuckling. He could have sworn Niall just painted them the other day. The paint must have been cheap. Zayn could fix that.

He pulled on the gold rung that was attached to the door, hoping Niall could hear it over the obnoxiously loud music, sounds of Santa and jingle bells ringing in his ears. No one must have heard it so he knocked again, getting a bit impatient because he was standing in twenty degree weather without a coat. As soon as the thought left his mind, the door opened and the first thing he saw was a grinning Niall, wearing a green and white reindeer sweater, the reindeer boots that he had on yesterday morning and the same grey cargo pants. He was holding a coffee mug in his hand that smelled like eggnog and what Zayn thought was vodka. He giggled when he saw Zayn and pulled him into a warm, close hug. Zayn could smell the vodka on his skin and he felt a little weird being so close to Niall. Sure, his heart was feeling a little friendly as of late but that didn't mean he was ready to hug and be all intimate with the overly friendly, attractive frat boy of a neighbor. But it was Christmas time. He was willing to give Niall's intimately drunk hugs a chance.

"So," Niall smiled sloppily, swinging an arm around Zayn's shoulders. "Enjoying the party?"

"I just got here." Zayn pointed out. "I haven't done anything yet."

Niall's eyes lit up. "Oh, then you need to take a trip to see Santa."

"What?"

"Santa, silly." He giggles, stumbling over his own feet as he walked towards the rear of the house, Zayn following close enough behind to catch him if he fell.

"You have Santa here?"

Niall nodded then shrugged. "Well, sort of. It's more like Secret Santa. You write your name and address on a card along with what you want and then you drop it in the box. At some time during the evening I'll get everyone together and we'll all draw a card. You have to get whatever the card says and ship it to the given address. It's that simple."

Zayn pondered that for a moment. What would he write on his card anyway? He didn't really know what he wanted. He wondered if he should just write something simple and inexpensive so save whoever drew his card some trouble.

"What do you think? You wanna do it?"

"What if I don't get what I ask for?" Zayn asked.

Niall shrugged. "Sorry, mate. I guess you're out of luck."

Zayn frowned at that. He had an idea for what he wanted but if he didn't get it, he knew he'd be thinking more than just _sorry about your luck_. He'd be thinking that with all the pain he was feeling, he must have been shipped a broken heart by mistake.

 

"Okay, everyone!" Niall shouted, setting his mug down on the dining room table. Only, it missed and fell to the floor, shattering. The vodka and eggnog inside spilled all over the dining room floor and spread out in a puddle. Atleast it was hardwood and would be easy to clean. Zayn asked Niall where the broom was and proceeded to clean up the mess while Niall got the people together to draw Secret Santa cards. He carried the dustpan into the kitchen and tried to dump it in the trash bin but when he opened the lid he saw that it was already full. Zayn sighed and ran a hand over his face and he walked outside to dump it in the can by the street. His inner Mr. Clean was trying to break free, telling Zayn to change Niall's trash but he fought it when he heard Niall giggling about someone writing _fuck you_ on one of the Secret Santa cards. Only Niall would laugh at something like that. Or maybe he was just drunk.

"Zayn!" Niall called. "You coming? We're about to start!"

Zayn closed the door behind him, the last breath of cold air fleeing back out as the door swung shut. He rubbed his chilly hands together as he walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch beside some random girl with reindeer antlers on her head. Niall was shuffling around the room, having accidentally misplaced the Secret Santa box, and kept bumping into everything because he was drunk. Zayn just smiled at how at cute he was, moving around like a headless chicken while trying to find the box. He acted like it was the heart and soul of the party but Zayn guessed that in a way it sort of was.

He bumped into the table one last time before he found the box on the floor by his feet, giggling. Zayn noticed that the box was in plain sight yet nobody cared enough to mention it to Niall. He thought that that was a little rude but he didn't bring it up because Niall was already moving on. He opened up the box and shook the cards around.

"Okay. Who's ready to go first? Anyone?"

Someone raised their hand and Zayn sat on the couch watching as Niall walked around the room, shaking the box in front of people's faces while they picked a card out. He was dancing to the Christmas music echoing throughout the house and singing under his breath. Zayn just looked away, a smile on his face as his growing feelings started to get the best of him.

Because of Niall's dancing, it took five minutes for him to get around to everyone, Zayn somehow ending up coming last. Niall stopped in front of him, his smile getting a little bit bigger when he looked down at Zayn's face. Zayn reached up and drew the last card. He opened it up and read what was on it to see what they wanted.

_The same thing as you._

Zayn looked around the room. He had _no idea_ whose card he had.

 

Niall did away with the cheesy Christmas music around nine o'clock and opted for more upbeat dancy music instead, Olly Murs' _Dance With Me Tonight_ blasting the speakers. Liam and Harry emerged from the back of the house, Louis in tow, and managed to convince Zayn to loosen up and dance a little even though being an _awful_ dancer was one of Zayn's few claims to life. He agreed anyway and moved his hips to the beat, Harry dancing alongside him, drunk and extremely energetic. He was laughing and grabbing Zayn's arms and moving then around and it was just so crazy that Zayn couldn't help but relax and have a good time. Louis stayed behind the music and kept the club songs coming, the party quickly switching from a relaxing Christmas get-together to a mild club style college party. But with less alcohol.

Zayn spotted Niall in the corner — he managed to stay away from the alcoholic eggnog after his spill— and was dancing and laughing with a group of people. He looked in Zayn's direction and smiled at him, flashing his bright white teeth. Zayn smiled back before he felt a hand on his shoulder, Liam's lips at his ear.

"Ask him to dance."

"What? Niall?" Zayn asked and Liam nodded. "Why?"

"Look at him lookin' at you. He wants to dance with you. He's probably just afraid to ask."

Zayn glared at him. "What if _I'm_ afraid to ask?"

Liam shrugged. "Too bad. Someone's gotta ask. Just to do it. I know you want to."

Zayn licked his lips, taking a deep breath. He had a strange sense of dèjá vu, like he'd been in a similar situation before. He shrugged it off, straightening his shoulders as he made his way across the spacious living room, looking back to glance at his friends. Liam just nodded and he didn't stop walking until he bumped into Niall himself, the giggle running from his mouth stopping short.

"Hey, Zayn. Whataya doing? Wanna beer?"

Zayn shook his head. "I don't drink, remember?"

Niall waved the words away. "Right. Whatever. Wanna dance, then? Yeah? Niall's got style." He slurred. "Come on. Say it with me. _Niall's got style_."

He giggled his little head off and Zayn was reminded of that night he paid Niall a visit threatening to shut down his party by calling the cops. He rolled his lip between his teeth. Oh how his heart has changed.

 _"Niall's got style."_ He smiled and Niall laughed, grabbing his wrists and pulling him to dance. Zayn rolled his shoulders and went with it, Niall dragging him to the floor. The song changed and Niall rolled his hips Shakira style and the only thing that crossed Zayn's mind was:

_Shit. I'm in trouble._

Niall rolled his hips around until he was facing Zayn and Zayn just didn't know what to do with himself. Niall danced circles around him, his ass getting _very_ close to Zayn's crotch at times, giggling and slurring the words to a Kesha song. Zayn blushed wildly and he prayed that Niall was too drunk to notice. Thankfully, he was. That, and he was consumed by his ridiculously sexual dancing. Zayn turned in place as Niall rotated around, still singing. He started to do a bunch of moonwalking and shit and Zayn got the warm feeling that Niall was trying to impress him. It was working. Zayn was especially taken with the sexy Shakira dancing and the air grinding.

"Come on, Zayn." Niall encouraged. "Shake those skinny little hips. I know you can."

Zayn laughed, throwing up his hands. What the hell?

He moved over next to Niall and they started dancing in sync and a crowd of people gathered around to watch. Zayn was glad these people didn't know him and could blame the dancing on the alcohol. The alcohol that he hadn't had. Niall was just so out there that he took all Zayn's thunder and he wasn't even trying. Zayn didn't mind it. Niall could take his thunder anytime he wanted.

 

 

Zayn waited back by the porch while Niall waved off all the guests, Harry and Liam stopping by the fence to his yard. Niall's party ended earlier than most — eleven thirty — so he decided it wasn't too late to hang back and talk to Niall. The Secret Santa card was still folded up in his pocket. There was no address or name written on it so Zayn didn't really know what to do with it. It's not like he could send the gift anywhere. He didn't know where to send it. He figured it probably wouldn't have mattered even if he did because they wanted what he wanted and he didn't really know what he wanted. That was a problem.

He rocked back on his heels, his hands in his pockets as snow started to fall from the sky. Liam and Harry signaled to him that they'd be at his house because they didn't want to wait in the snow and Zayn nodded, taking a seat next to Niall on the cold porch swing. It was still a little strange for him, all this. He wasn't used to being so relaxed and open with someone. Especially with someone he didn't like a few weeks ago even though Harry begged to differ. It was like he had been a whole other person these past few days, ever since he seen Niall at the soup kitchen. Zayn couldn't pinpoint why it was that day that changed his heart. He tried his best to figure it out but he was struggling. He didn't really want to think about it. It's all he's been thinking about and his mind's been turmoil. The only thing he found that took away the pressure was yesterday. Talking with Niall while doing the tree and then being so, so close to him was something Zayn felt changed his mind. He'd found it so difficult to like Niall at first and to give him a chance because of the circumstances under which they met. They were both complete dicks and because of that, everything else was missing and Zayn resented that. That's not the kind of first impression he wanted to give someone. Niall especially. He didn't deserve that.

"Zayn." Niall said, suddenly sounding sober. "What are you doing on my porch? Why didn't you leave with everyone else? Is something wrong?"

Zayn shook his head, staring at his bare fingers in his lap, suddenly inhaling when Niall's palm covered them, keeping away the biting wind. Zayn wanted to turn and look at Niall but he didn't dare. Their faces would be so close that Zayn wasn't sure he'd be able to resist leaning forward and kissing Niall's beautiful pink lips. The only way to guarantee that that didn't happen was for him to get up and leave that very second but he couldn't do it. He remembered back when he first realised that Niall would keep him coming back whether he liked or not and he frowned. He did like coming back but it wasn't Niall bringing him back. It was his heart. Niall's heart had a way about it that Zayn never saw before yesterday. All he saw — all he _chose_ to see — was that Niall was a giant prick that couldn't stop drinking and partying, wasting away his first year of college. But it was more than that. It was a sweet, fun-loving boy that liked to play guitar and party with friends. But he was also handy with needles and Zayn found that out yesterday after Niall left. Even though he'd gone, he was still there, holding a needle, ready to pierce the silver lining of Zayn's heart like a balloon. And he'd done it. Somehow, someway, somehwere, he'd done it. And looking at Niall now, Zayn knew he'd done the same thing to Niall. He confirmed it when he turned his face, lips parting slightly. Niall blinked up at Zayn through his eyelashes and then met Zayn's eyes, the porch light behind him turning on and shining over his face. As he got closer, Zayn saw only one thing as he closed his eyes: the clear blue of outer space, the stars in his sky colliding with the ones in Niall's as soon as their lips met, snowflakes dusting their hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I write pretty quickly but I almost didn't get this one up today :)

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to do that?" Niall asked Zayn, his voice a whisper against Zayn's parted lips.

Zayn nodded, his heart thinking the exact same thing. He smiled at Niall as be bent to kiss him again, sweet and heady. He felt Niall chuckle against his lips and the sensation awakened the cold nerves bundled under Zayn's skin, his blood burning like the fire in his heart. Niall's lips had a grace about them that made Zayn's heart pound like an African drum. He wanted to stay longer and keep kissing Niall but it was getting late and Zayn felt himself getting sleepy.

"I should go." He said, pulling away slightly, his forehead resting against Niall's.

Niall nodded. "See you tomorrow though, yeah?"

Zayn smiled as he slid off the porch swing and walked over to the steps, turning back to look at Niall. He had gotten off the swing too and was standing there with snow in his hair, his hands buried in his cargo pants. He was smiling at Zayn, a burning question on the tip of his tongue that only Zayn's could quench. Zayn moved forward to kiss Niall's cheek but Niall cheekily turned his head at the last second, their lips meeting once more. Zayn chuckled against Niall's lips as he pulled away, his hand resting on Niall's blushing red cheek.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." He smiled. "And bring your lips."

He heard Niall laugh as he stepped off the porch and walked down the footpath towards his own house, catching Harry and Liam in the living room window, massive grins on their faces. Zayn shook his head, smiling.

He should've known.

He opened the gate and made his way to the front door, his footsteps on the blue wood the only sound in the still night air as he opened the front door. He was immediately tackled by Harry and Liam and smothered with laughter and kisses on his cheeks.

"What the hell?" Zayn laughed. "What are you two doing?"

"Ooh." Harry said, pulling him to his feet and wrapping him in a hug. "We're so proud of you."

Zayn laughed a little awkwardly as Harry rubbed circles in his sweater. "Why? What have I done?"

"You kissed Niall, you jackass. This is monumental!" Harry exclaimed.

"Monumental?" Zayn chuckled, moving away from Harry's embrace. Harry and Liam followed him to the kitchen as he opened the fridge and pulled out the leftover chocolate cake Harry made yesterday.

"Well, yeah. I mean, as much of a dick as you've been towards him, it's a massive step. Next on the agenda: fuck him so I can say I told you so."

Zayn laughed as he dipped his fork in the fluffy body of the moist cake, bringing it to his lips, chocolate crumbs residing on the corner of his mouth.

"See these crumbs?" Harry asked, wiping them off with a napkin. "If Niall was here you wouldn't need napkins."

Zayn frowned. "How do you mean?"

Harry cast his eyes over Zayn's face, a look on his face. "I think you know what I mean."

Liam decided to step up and wrung an arm around Harry's shoulders. "Harry, don't you think it's getting a little, I don't know, late?"

Harry sighed, raising his hands. "Alright. I get it. I'm leaving. See you tomorrow, Zayn." He walked towards the front door and was gone.

"Sorry about him." Liam apologised. "He's just so proud of you. You should've seen his reaction when you first kissed Niall. He was nearly through the roof."

Zayn chuckled, taking another bite of his cake. "I'm sure. I wonder how he's doing with Louis."

Liam shrugged. "He's not talking about it."

"I know and it's frustrating because it's open season on my love life but Harry's park is closed."

Liam laughed. "What the fuck?"

Zayn shrugged, finishing his cake. "I don't know. It's late and my heart is in my throat."

"Maybe if Niall stuck his tongue down your throat that wouldn't be a problem."

"Liam!" Zayn exclaimed, laughing.

"Sorry, mate. Couldn't resist."

"Right. Whatever. Can I just eat in peace?"

Liam nodded as he got up, saying goodbye as he left the room, probably heading upstairs to study for the exam he was expecting once winter break was over. Zayn sat at the table alone, only crumbs on his plate, the fork still in his hand. He sighed and rested his head on the table, willing his heart to calm down. It was still beating like mad and Zayn didn't know how to stop it.

He felt lighter than before, his heart's heavy want no longer weighing him down. It had gotten what it wanted but it was greedy. It wanted more and Zayn wasn't sure how much more he could give. He had only just kissed Niall and he wanted to take things slowly. His heart would just have to wait.

Picking up the plate and loading it into the dishwasher, Zayn ran his hands through his dark hair. The window in front of him was open and the only thing he could see outside was the lights from town lining the flat horizon.

The fridge was getting low and Zayn wanted to get more cookies even though Liam threw a fit about them. They were good and he was going to keep buying them as long as he wanted to eat them. He made himself a reminder to go to the store tomorrow to grocery shop. He also needed to start shopping for Christmas gifts. Harry and Liam hadn't really been dropping hints this year so Zayn figured he was allowed to get them whatever he wanted. He didn't have much money at the moment because his boss was out of town for the holiday season and decided to close the restaurant while they were gone, leaving Zayn temporarily jobless. Liam still went to work at the coffee shop in town during the week so they had some money. Zayn scratched his head, wanting the holiday to end so he could get back to waiting tables. He didn't always like it but it was work and it paid good money because the boss was loaded.

He reached up to pull the curtains closed and turned off the overhead kitchen light, going to head upstairs. He paused by the railing and turned to look out the window at Niall's house. The porch light was on and Zayn could see people moving around inside — probably cleaning up after the party — the falling snow visible in the dark as it fell in front of the light rays. He smiled slightly at the memory of tonight before he turned and walked up the stairs, exhausted and ready for bed. He had a lot of thinking to do.

 

—∞—

 Niall came over the next day after his shift at the soup kitchen to go with Zayn to the grocery store. Zayn was going Christmas shopping but he allowed Niall to come because he already had his gift at home. Niall didn't know it and Zayn prayed that it stayed that way until the time arrived to give it to him.

Zayn closed the door behind them, locking it as Niall started going on about some movie he watched last night even though it was nearly midnight. Zayn listened silently as they walked down the footpath to his car. There was a heavy snow storm last night so Zayn had brought out the house broom to clear the snow off of his car, Niall standing off to the side with his hands in his pockets, still talking. He had on a blue beanie, his blue reindeer boots, and black skinny jeans. Zayn only vaguely understood what he was saying because he hadn't seen the movie but that didn't seem to bother Niall. He continued to talk anyway.

Once the snow was cleared from his car, they climbed in, Zayn getting behind the wheel. The car stalled a little bit from the cold but it soon started and they pulled away from the curb.

"You know what, Zayn?" Niall asked suddenly.

"Hm?" Zayn said, turning a corner.

"I don't think I'm gonna throw a party this year for Christmas."

"Why not? Did you throw one last year?" Zayn asked.

Niall nodded. "A small one. But I threw that party last night and it was sort of Christmas themed so I kind of figured I'm done for the year."

"So what are you going to do on Christmas?" Zayn braked as the traffic light switched to yellow and then red. There was a minivan next to them blasting Lil' Wayne and Zayn winced at the vibration under his feet. Niall rolled his window up to block out some of the sound but by the time it was finished the light had turned green and the car was turning in a different direction.

"I don't know. I was thinking that maybe I could come over to your house. Harry and Liam will be there, right?"

Zayn nodded. "And probably Louis, too. Harry hasn't mentioned it so it's not set in stone but yeah. Of course you can come over." Zayn smiled, lacing their fingers together. Niall smiled wide and Zayn knew why. It was the first intimate contact that Zayn had initiated. When they kissed last night, it was Niall who moved forward to connect their lips. Now it was Zayn reaching out to hold the lighter boy's bare hands.

"Thanks." Niall grinned, squeezing Zayn's hand. The look on his face made Zayn want to reach over and kiss him so bad but he was driving and he couldn't.

Zayn felt his blood surge at the new feelings his heart was expressing. Never in his twenty years of living has he wanted to kiss someone as bad as he wanted to kiss Niall right that moment. Even moreso than last night.

"Anytime. If I get to march over to your house and crash your parties then you get to come over to mine for Christmas." Zayn told him.

"Does that mean we get to cuddle on your couch and watch holiday movies?"

"Only after Liam goes to bed. I don't want to listen to his complaining about not having someone to do that with." Zayn smirked and Niall rubbed circles in his open palm with his thumb.

"Sounds good to me."

Zayn pulled his car into the newly paved parking lot and took a space near the back so he'd have more time to hold Niall's hand. Cold or not, he didn't care. The warmth of his heart when Niall's hand touched his would keep him from freezing.

They climbed out of the car and Niall ran around the car to catch up to Zayn, giggling. Zayn wrapped his hand around Niall's, knocking their shoulders together as they walked around a stray shopping cart in the lot. It was about a minute's walk to the front of the store from where they parked and Zayn enjoyed every shivering moment of it.

"Did you bring a list?" Niall asked, breaking away to grab a cart and pushing it in front of him while they walked.

Zayn nodded as he brought the list out of his pocket, looking it over. Liam had made the list early that morning before he left for work and had strictly instructed Zayn _not_ to purchase anymore cookies. Zayn had finished them off the day before last and Liam had seen the package in the trash. Zayn rolled his eyes as they passed the cookie shelf, grabbing one. He would pay for it himself and stash them in his car. Liam wouldn't even have to know.

"I don't see those on the list." Niall pointed out. "Did Liam forget to write them down?"

"Uh, no. He actually doesn't want me getting them anymore so don't tell him, alright? It'll be our secret." Zayn said absently as he turned into the canned soup aisle.

Niall grinned. "Our secret, eh?"

Zayn turned to put the soup in the cart and he jumped at how close Niall was standing, his lips about two inches away from Zayn's.

"What are you up to, Niall?" Zayn asked, lips twitching in anticipation at their proximity.

Niall chuckled cheekily as he leaned in and pecked Zayn's lips. A small grin played on Zayn's lips when their mouths made contact and he could feel the rumble of Niall's laughter all the way down to his toes.

"Wanna kiss you," he pouted.

"I know you do. But I'm busy. We're supposed to be shopping."

Niall sighed and stuck out his bottom lip as he leaned over the handle bar of the cart. Zayn knew what he was doing and it was working because a second later Zayn caved.

"Alright. But just one."

Niall grinned as he turned his head, secretly glad that Zayn was unknowingly wrapping himself around Niall's pale finger. Zayn shook his head as he leaned in and kissed Niall's lips, slow and sweet, Niall humming in satisfaction. He pulled away, licking off the taste of Niall's minty toothpaste.

He glanced at the list again hoping to move on but he felt Niall's eyes burning holes in his back. He didn't understand why Niall was choosing to do this now. Couldn't it have waited until they got home?

Apparently, Niall came to the same conclusion because the fire in his eyes went out as he glanced around the aisle, fingers tapping an unknown beat on the handle of the cart. Zayn crossed out the soup on the list Niall was holding and they moved on.

Next was dinner stuff. It mostly consisted of steamed vegetables and fruit but Liam allowed Zayn to pick up a few tv dinners and such for him to eat when he was home by himself and Liam or Harry weren't there to cook. Zayn picked out a few he liked and tossed them in the cart, Niall's eyes watching his every move. Zayn wanted the grocery shopping to be quick because he was eager to get to the Christmas shopping. He was excited to pick out their gifts. It was his favorite part of Christmas.

"Okay." Niall said. "Are we ready?"

Zayn nodded. "I think so."

Niall pushed the cart to the check-out lanes and they waited in line. Niall was scanning the sweets section and picking out a couple candy bars, adding them to the pile on the conveyor belt. The cashier rang them their total while Zayn worked on packing everything into bags. He used to always get asked by employees if they could do it but he always said no. They never did it right, always giving a tub of sour cream a bag to itself which Zayn thought was just total bullshit. It was easier to do it himself.

He handed Niall the money and he handed it to the cashier, putting it into the register and handing them their receipt. Niall took it from her badly manicured fingers and they were on their way. When they reached the doors, Zayn noticed that it was pouring rain. Like, _raining cats and dogs_ raining even though it was December and that rarely happened.

"Shit." Zayn swore.

Niall started grabbing bags and handed a few to Zayn. "What are you doing?"

"We're gonna run for it." Niall explained.

Zayn sighed at the thought. "Good thing we don't have any eggs, then."

Niall looked at him and smiled before counting to three. "1…2…3!"

And they were off. The ran down the length of the parking lot, laughing and smiling. Cold rain was soaking their hair and running down the back of Zayn's jacket because he'd forgotten to put his hood up. They passed a cart herd and Niall nearly ran into one, slipping and falling on his ass. Zayn stopped and laughed at him for a second before he reached down and helped him up. It was then that he realised that Niall had fallen in a huge puddle as it started to flash flood. Before Zayn could withdraw his hand, Niall grabbed it and pulled him down, he too landing in the water, heavy rain still falling from the sky. Now, not only was Zayn's quiff on his forehead and soaking wet but his clothes were drenched and dirty. He felt his anger burn but when he glanced over at Niall, dirty water drops falling like tears down his cheeks and a smile lighting up his face — bright white teeth the only clean thing on him — he couldn't help but laugh and the anger subsided.

Before he could tell Niall off for dragging him into the dirty water, Niall's face approached his and hurridly crashed their lips together. Zayn could taste the bitter grit of the water on Niall's mouth but he tuned it out, focusing on the way Niall skipped his tongue over his bottom lip. They sat there kissing for awhile, rain soaking their clothes further and drenching the bags of groceries that were on the ground, momentarily forgotten about. A crash of thunder loud enough to crack the earth rattled Zayn's bones and they broke apart, fear of getting struck by lightning taking over Zayn's clouded senses. They quickly picked themselves up and grabbed the bags, running all the way to the car. Niall was laughing the whole way but Zayn was frowning. He didn't realise when he and Niall were kissing in the puddle that they would have to get in his car like this; dirty and wet. He sighed. He was going to have to clean it tomorrow.

He unlocked the back hatch and they piled the groceries inside, the hatch lid providing momentary relief from the rain. Once they were inside, Zayn closed the hatch and climbed in the car, flinching at the dirt covering his car. To make things worse, they still had to go Christmas shoppping like this.

"People are gonna stare at us." Niall said, sounding a little insecure.

Zayn looked over at him, grabbing his hand. "They're gonna stare even more when we walk in holding hands."

Niall grinned widely, turning to look out the window, Zayn's thumb rubbing circles in _his_ palm

 

—∞—

 Zayn reached up and pressed the doorbell to Harry's apartment, the haunting sound echoing loudly throughout the house. Zayn shifted his weight between his feet as he waited, listening as something heavy fell to the floor and he smiled when Harry muttered out a string of candy laced profanities. The smile fell heavily from his face when Harry opened the door; shirtless and wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue boxers with Oreo cookies on them. He looked tired as hell and completely worn out even though it was only noon. Zayn looked behind him at the apartment. It was a disaster zone. Papers were strewn everywhere, male mannequins were lying around on the couches and chairs, empty coffee cups all over the table, and a ton of other shit that Zayn couldn't glance at long enough to recognise. He turned to Harry in wonder.

"What the hell happened?"

Harry sighed and pulled at the ends of his lightly greased hair as if he hadn't showered in two days. And judging by the smell when Zayn sniffed, he probably hadn't. He stepped back to let Zayn pass. He walked through the door and into the living room, nearly tripping and breaking his neck on a stray mannequin that he'd somehow missed before. Harry chuckled a bit as he bent to pick it up, a hand on Zayn's arm to make sure he was okay.

"Sorry about that," he apologised. "I know the place is a bit of pig-sty."

Zayn nodded in agreement as he sat down on one of Harry's black leather couches, the factory plastic still on it. Harry had been living in this apartment for almost two years now and he still had boxes full of stuff lying around and plastic on his furniture. Zayn always asked why he never bothered to unpack everything but Harry always brushed it off. He always used the excuse that he was busy with fashion school, _too_ busy apparently, to even pay attention to his apartment. Zayn thought that was a load of shit.

Harry sashayed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, tossing it to Zayn who caught it effortlessly. He grabbed one for himself and took a seat next to Zayn on the couch, turning on the tv, the volume on low. Harry's apartment smelled like fabric and mint toothpaste and it was a funny combination that made Zayn's nose wrinkle and his tastebuds pucker. Harry, on the other hand, did not seem to mind one bit.

"So, what do you plan on doing today, Harry?" Zayn asked, sipping some of his bottled water.

Harry shrugged, wiggling his toes around as he crossed his legs at the ankle on top of a stack of outdated Vogue magazines. "I dunno. Probably sit around on my ass all day."

"Is that why there's shit all over the house?" Zayn questioned. "Because you've been sitting on your ass all day?"

Harry shrugged again. "Well, no. I was busy earlier but I'm not anymore."

Zayn turned and faced the rest of the small studio apartment. "Why not? What were you doing? Stuff for class?"

Harry shook his head as he tried to talk, drink water, and change the channel all at the same time. "Actually, no. Well, I suppose you can sort of say that. My fashion design teacher as arranged for a professional designer to come in next week and I have to have something designed by then. But it's not coming along as well as I would've liked."

"Why?" Zayn wondered. "What's wrong?"

Harry leaned back in the couch and rubbed his hands over his face then left them there, speaking from behind them. "I don't fucking know. The stitching isn't going in properly or something. I can't seem to get it right."

"Okay. So you're pissed off and the state of your house has turned into a reflection of your state of mind." Zayn concluded.

Harry nodded. "Basically."

Zayn sighed, closing the lid on his bottle. "If you want, I can take a look at it. I used to sew patches onto my clothes back home so maybe I can help."

Harry waved a hand. "Please. It's in the other room. The sketches are in there so you can see how it's supposed to look."

Zayn nodded as he lifted himself off of the couch and moved into the other room. Harry had the window open all the way even though it was snowing outside and there was thread all over the room. Zayn shook his head. It's a wonder Harry got anything done. He was _so_ disorganised it was ridiculous. Zayn sat down in the little beige chair that looked like it came with a cheap card table; the kind you find at your local thrift shop along with spiders in your clothes. It squeaked when he sat down and it had an unstable leg that put Zayn on edge thinking he was gonna fall on his ass. He pushed all the loose thread aside and peered down at Harry's detailed sketches. He had a very intricate cross design going up the side seam of the jacket with a circle looped design running along the bottom, coming out looking beautiful when it collided with the cross stitching on the side. The stitching design was flawless and Zayn moved the sewing machine around to examine it. What was Harry doing wrong?

He set the sewing machine down and got up to look around. Harry said it wasn't coming out properly so he must have some examples around for Zayn to look at. He dug around in the boxes and looked under the table, turning to check the trash bin. He pulled a piece of fabric out and glanced at it, instantly knowing the problem. Harry was sewing the circle pattern straight through the cross design when he needed to stop a half centimeter before and start the circle stitching on plain fabric and lightly run it over the cross stitching, ironing it later to make it blend better.

Zayn took a seat in the chair and looked around for the sharp tool that was used to pull out the stitching. He found it and got to work on pulling the thread from the fabric. Once he was finished with that, he realigned the spool on top of the machine and lined up the fabric under the light, his fingers switching the lever that applied the stitches, his foot on the pedal as the machine roared to life. He held his fingers away from the seam and moved the fabric forward at a steady pace as the stitches went in. He stopped it briefly, reaching over to switch the seam design, before starting again. He looped the thread properly around the cross stitching before he paused and switched it back, finishing the rest of the seam. When he was finished he pulled it back to examine his handiwork. He glanced over at the sketch to compare them and he smiled.

"Harry," he called. "Come look at this."

He heard the hurried footfalls as Harry ran towards the room. He appeared in the doorway, an anxious smile decorating his tired face. "Did you get it?"

He nodded. "I think so. Have a look."

He handed the fabric to Harry and watched as astonishment took over his features. "You got it! How?"

Zayn beckoned him to sit and showed him what exactly he did and had Harry try for himself. Harry did it and looked up at Zayn, a bit sheepish.

"This should be yours, not mine." He mumbled.

"What are you talking about, Harry?"

"This," he gestured to everything in the room. "Fashion design should've been your calling, not mine. I'm shit at it."

Zayn rested a hand on his bare shoulder. "Don't say that. You're great. Your sketches are phenomenal. You just need to learn morn sewing tricks and techniques."

Harry sighed. He heard what Zayn was saying but Zayn knew he didn't believe it. That's what hurt Zayn the most. Harry had an incredible talent for what he was doing. He just refused to believe it, therefore trapping it inside. In order to let it free, he had to believe that it was there and let his talent guide him. He's been doing for as long as Zayn's known him and he wondered why Harry chose to attend fashion school if he wasn't willing to fully express himself. It made no sense to Zayn.

"Thanks, Zayn. For everything."

Zayn nodded, moving to hug his best friend from behind. "Now. Whataya say I whip us some chicken fajitas?"

Harry looked at him. "You? Cooking? I don't believe it."

"Well believe it because it's true." Zayn insisted.

Harry turned around when he realised that Zayn was being serious. "Where the hell did you learn to cook?"

Zayn smiled, walking back out into the living room. "Ginny from the restaurant is teaching me."

"Any particular reason why?" Harry asked, a certain quality lining his voice.

"What are you suggesting?"

Harry grinned as he plopped down on the couch. "I think you're trying to impress Niall."

"What?"

"Oh yeah." He nodded. "Don't pretend like you're not. I know you were listening when he was talking about his mother's home cooking the other day."

Zayn chuckled as he sat next to him. "Damn. That didn't last long."

Harry shrugged. "Tell me about it. You used to be a little shit with your feelings, always hiding them. But ever since you met your frat boy, you're face has been about as open as my eyes are when the shitty ass fire alarm this building has goes off at three a.m."

Zayn laughed, twirling his fingers around a loose thread on his jeans. "You're so dramatic. I highly doubt there's that much of a difference in the way I express my feelings."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Is that so? Well, if I recall correctly, around this time this last month you were bitching like mad about Niall and his parties and now you're staying afterwards so you can suck face with him. I mean, I knew you liked him from the beginning so don't try to hide it. But you expressed it differently. Tried to pull the wool over my eyes and get me to think that you hated that poor boy's guts. I saw right through you. I knew you wanted to jump his ass. You just refused to accept it."

Zayn stayed silent through Harry's little speech but wwhen he finished, Zayn looked up at him, a wide smile on his face.

"Harry," he said softly. "Do you mind if I suggest something to you?"

"Sure, mate. What is it?"

"Take psychology."

 

 —∞—

 When Christmas rolled around about a week later, Zayn was more than ready to get it over with. He was tired of looking at his tree all the time, the lights dim because he'd misplaced his own lights and had to borrow some from Harry and he'd dropped them one day, knocking some of the lights out when he accidentally stepped on them. Now his tree just looked like shit. Especially without the guitar ornament on it. Zayn had taken it off the day before and put away in a special box for a special reason. No one but him had even noticed it was gone. Except for Niall. He noticed but that wasn't a major detail because he wasn't around a whole lot.

The doorbell rang and Zayn went to get it, Harry rushing in, a bag of peppermint _Ghiradelli_ chocolate in his gloved hands. Zayn stumbled backwards and made room for Harry as he closed the door. Harry sat down on the couch and opened the chocolate.

"You won't believe what's coming to your house right now." He smiled and Zayn turned to look before Harry's loud voice stopped him.

"No, wait! Let me explain." He breathed. "Okay. Remember when we went to Niall's Christmas party the other week?"

Zayn nodded. "Well, do you remember what you wrote on your Secret Santa card?"

Zayn nodded again, wondering where Harry was going with this. "Yeah. What about it?"

"I caught Niall taking your card out of the box after your put it in. He made sure no one else drew your card." Harry had a lining to his voice that had Zayn worried. What he wrote on that card was sort of private and he was going to be so embarrassed if in the next two seconds Harry tells him that he knows what he wrote on the card.

Thankfully, he doesn't.

"I kept an eye on him after that. He kept looking at it and smiling." The lining in Harry's voice got thicker, and Zayn knew he was getting close to the buried treasure. "And you know what? I noticed your behaviour that night. It was … different."

Zayn shifted awkwardly. Harry was getting dangerously close and Zayn felt his palms start to sweat. "What do you mean, Harry?"

Harry smiled darkly and Zayn knew instantly that his voice gave him away. "I think you went to that party with predetermined intentions."

He was so close to the treasure that Zayn could feel the shovel poking at his skin, trying to see if the treasure would make its presence known. Zayn didn't intend to let that happen but it didn't matter. Harry was smiling at him whilst shoving a chocolate square in his mouth. He'd found the _X_ and was digging furiously until he heard the satisfying _cling_ telling him he'd struck gold. Zayn felt the shovel touch his heart as Harry pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. He chuckled when Zayn's eyes widened, realising what it was.

"How did you get that?"

Harry giggled as he walked up to Zayn. "Niall gave it to me. Asked me to help him arrange his gift. Said he couldn't do it alone."

"I don't understand." Zayn said, confused.

Harry nodded. "I know. But get Niall's present ready because he's coming with yours."

"What? But it's only Christmas Eve. What about tomorrow?"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "My God, Zayn. You're getting your Christmas present early and you're complaining? _What_ are you?"

Zayn didn't say anything. He just went upstairs to his bedroom and grabbed Niall's gift, holding it in his hand as he descended the stairs. Harry was standing at the window, nodding at someone. He turned sharply when he heard Zayn coming and hurried to his earlier position in front of the door.

"You ready?"

Zayn shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Good." Harry opened the door and Zayn gasped. Niall was standing there on the porch in a red t-shirt and jeans, a big red bow taped to his chest, a Santa hat on his head. He had his hands in his pockets and a massive grin on his face. Harry slipped Zayn's Secret Santa card into his hand — the one Niall had taken and proceeded to smile at — and opened it. It only said one thing in Zayn's artistic scrawl but it was enough.

_You._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. I'm not sure how I feel about it but whatever. There's some poorly written grinding, I'm not very sexually inclined, sorry. It's sort of an apology for ending it early : )

Zayn moved back absently as Niall walked over the threshold, the smell of cocoa and mint with a layer of snow tickling the hairs of his nose. He inhaled deeply trying to commit it to memory before it evaporated, closing the door. Except he couldn't because Harry had stuck his foot in the doorframe, keeping it from closing. He gave Zayn a small smile and handed him the peppermint chocolate.

"I'll leave you two alone," he whispered so Niall wouldn't hear. "See you tomorrow?"

Zayn nodded as Harry removed his foot from the door and walked down the path and away from him. He turned back to Niall who was waiting in the living room, standing in front of the tree looking lost in thought. Zayn smiled at him. He looked really adorable with his Santa on and the red bow on his chest was just the icing on the cake for Zayn. He was relieved that he'd gotten his gift early. Atleast if it was early, he knew he wouldn't have to wait around for that broken heart to arrive in the express mail. He could rest easy now knowing his gift was just next door. All his.

He shifted and cleared his throat, Niall leaving his reverie to look at Zayn, a sad look on his face.

"What happened to the guitar ornament?"

"What?" Zayn asked, moving closer to him.

Niall pointed to a bare spot on the tree where the guitar was supposed to be. "What happened to it?"

Zayn shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it fell."

He watched as Niall knelt down to look on the ground for it. When he didn't find it, he stood up again, the light in his eyes a little dimmer than before. "Oh. That's too bad. I really liked it."

Zayn nodded, handing him the small box containing his gift. "I know. Here. It's your gift. Harry said that I since I got my gift early, you should too."

Niall glanced down at the box then back at Zayn. "Is that it? That little thing?"

Zayn withdrew slightly. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

Niall shook his head quickly. "No, no. I'm just surprised. It's much, much smaller than yours."

Zayn smiled. "I know. But it's just as good. I promise."

Niall took the small box from his hands and fingered the red ribbon around it, wondering what on earth it could be. He didn't have any ideas so he pulled the ribbon loose and ran a finger over the top as he prepared to open it.

"Go on," Zayn urged. "You'll love it."

Niall smiled up at him as he lifted the lid and he inhaled sharply when he saw his gift. "Zayn,"

Zayn smiled, blushing like a fire engine as he turned away. He felt Niall's hand cup his chin and turn him so they were face to face once more. "You gave me the guitar ornament?"

Zayn nodded. "I saw how much you liked it that day and I thought it would be the perfect present."

It was Niall's turn to look away. "You're wrong about that."

"What?"

Niall turned to face him again, his face dangerously close. "You're wrong. It's not the perfect present. It's close, but it's not perfect. You're the perfect present. And it's great because I never even got the chance to ask for you. You asked for me first which is something I thought I'd never see."

Zayn smiled. "You think I'm perfect?"

Niall nodded, moving even closer. "I do."

Zayn smiled wider as Niall closed the distance between them. His kiss started off slow and sweet but it quickly turned heated and heady when Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall's waist, pulling him flush against him. Niall brought his hands to Zayn's face, his thumbs lightly rubbing lines under his eyes as if he was wiping tears away. He smiled into the kiss and parted his lips like Moses did with the Red Sea, Zayn's tongue rushing between them, acting as the Isrealites, licking a stripe over the bottom one. Niall chuckled and his breath tickled Zayn's chin and lips, their tongues caressing each other gently. Zayn wanted so badly to turn up the heat but he didn't dare ruin the moment. It was sweet and nice and he wanted to remember it that way. He didn't want to start something he didn't plan on finishing today. Niall, apparently, had the same thought because he pulled away gently, resting his forehead against Zayn's, the white trim of his hat pressing against Zayn's hairline.

"You're flawless." Zayn whispered then blushed because it was so cheesy.

Niall laughed and kissed his lips again. "So are you. Now, what do you say we get to that cuddling while watching Christmas movies we talked about the other week?"

 

 

Christmas movies played all day on Hallmark channel and Zayn was completely content to sit there and watch every single of one them as long as Niall lay there, head on his lap, sleeping. He was so cute with his fluffy blonde hair — the brown roots almost finished growing out — and his pink pouty lips. His tongue came out between them every so often in his sleep and Zayn wanted to do nothing but trap it between his lips and suck on it.

Shifting a little bit, Niall brushed up against Zayn's crotch and he inhaled in surprise, willing Niall to move away on his own. He really did not want to get into this position right now but Zayn junior had other ideas. He tried to will it away by thinking about puppies, snow, and oddly, his mother. He glanced down and frowned. He thought for sure that his mother would do the trick but apparently Zayn was more stubborn than he thought. He tried to scoot out of Niall's range and to the olother side of the couch but Niall realised that his pillow was moving and clutched at it, Zayn breathing in deep, his fist at his mouth to muffle the sound. He knew he was treading in dangerous waters — Liam or Harry could come in any second — but he couldn't seem to swim out of it. He tried but there was greedy and lustful things in these waters and they weren't going to let him get away so easily.

He reached down to try and pry Niall's slender fingers away from himself but Niall clutched his hand, holding it there. He mumbled something in his sleep but Zayn didn't catch it. His mind was too busy trying to control his body.

"Niall," he whispered, panic lining his voice.

"Hm?" Niall mumbled, burying his head further into Zayn's lap. Zayn bit his lip at the pressure and it was all he could do not to make any unnecessary noise. He tried to move away again now that Niall was semi-awake but his grip on Zayn was righter than he thought.

"Can you move a minute? I need to use the toilet." Zayn explained, his voice hoarse. Niall kept moving and Zayn junior was getting excited. Zayn, on the other hand, was beginning to panic.

"Why?" He whined. "I'm comfy."

 _Well, I'm not!_ Zayn thought, wanting to move again but he feared the movement would make it worse. "I'm well aware of that but I really need to piss."

Niall sighed and turned to look at Zayn, coming face to face with the barely there tent in Zayn's dark skinny jeans. He chuckled lightly. "Someone's excited."

"Shut up, Niall." Zayn hissed. "I can't help it. You're sleeping on my lap and you keep touching it and pulling at it. I tried to will it away but that's kind of hard to do when you're clutching it like a damn microphone on karaoke night."

Niall laughed into Zayn's lap, his warm breath on Zayn's tent making him grind his teeth.

"Niall, please, just move so I can go take care of this before Liam walks in." Zayn begged. His eyes widened in relief when Niall sat up but they quickly widened with something else when Niall climbed on his lap, a smirk on his face.

"What are you doing?" Zayn demanded.

"Taking care of your problem," he smiled, grinding down on Zayn ever so slightly. Zayn gasped at the sudden friction and he closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. He didn't want to be in such a compromising position. What if Liam or Harry walked in? What was he supposed to do then? It'd be awfully hard to act like nothing was going on when there was a massive boner tenting his jeans.

The next thought entering Zayn's mind quickly left when Niall grinded down on him again, this time with more pressure. Zayn couldn't contain his moan this time and he prayed that neither Harry nor Liam were standing outside on the porch.

"Niall," he gasped. "We can't."

"Why not?" Niall grinned, groin meeting Zayn's again. "Don't you want it?"

"Of course I want it," Zayn growled thickly. "But not exactly in such a public place where my housemate can walk in on us."

Niall looked off towards the door, a knowing smile on his lips. "We'll be fine."

Zayn frowned. How did Niall —? His thought was cut short when Niall grinded down on him harder than before, the wind escaping Zayn's pipes as he automatically bucked his hips up to meet Niall's thrusts. Niall grinned at him, his own erection becoming tight in his jeans. Zayn rested his hand against the back of the couch, the lucid vision of Niall's risque Shakira dancing making a reappearance in his mind. He couldn't believe this was happening right now but he didn't have the courage, or the desire, to push Niall off.

Niall rested his hands on Zayn's shoulders as he moved, Zayn continuing to buck his hips, his groin tightening as he started to feel the familiar swirl in his stomach. He looked up at Niall. He had a small layer of sweat shining his face and Zayn got the feeling that Niall was trying real hard not to lose control with him.

"Niall," Zayn gasped hoarsely, hips bucking once more.

"I know. Just wait." Niall told him, swirling his hips harder. Zayn heard the roughness in Niall's voice and knew he was close too. It was only a matter of time and so far they were in the clear. Or so they thought. Zayn hadn't heard Liam's piece of shit car pull into the drive until it was too late. The front door was opening just as Zayn came in his pants, Niall following a second later, breathing heavy. Luckily, Liam had headphones on and didn't hear the heavy breathing but his nose twitched and Zayn knew he smelled something. Whether it was the smell of sex or embarrassment, Zayn didn't know. Liam glanced up and noticed their position on the couch, bodily fluid darkening the fabric of the crotch in Niall's jeans, and turned away instantly, realising.

"Oh my God." He breathed. "What did I just walk in on?"

Niall opened his mouth to answer, grinning, but Liam put up a hand. "Never mind. I think I've got a pretty good idea."

Niall laughed as he moved off of Zayn, not even bothering to hide the spot in his jeans. He didn't seem embarrassed at all which is more than he could say for Zayn who had a hand over his face, a blush darkening his cheeks. Liam closed his eyes, hands out as he walked blindly for the steps, bumping into the couch. He screeched and jumped, knowing he'd touched something that his best friend basically just had almost-sex on and Zayn smiled as he watched Liam hurry up the steps, the loud music in his ears blocking out his thoughts.

"See?" Niall said. "We were fine. He saw nothing. "

"He saw _something_ , " Zayn said, patting Niall's spot on his jeans. "You're lucky he's not pissed."

Niall shrugged, moving in for a kiss. It was heavy and insistent and Zayn felt himself kissing back with the same intensity before he quickly pushed Niall back, smiling.

"No. Not while he's upstairs."

Niall sighed, pecking his lips. "Fine. But we're doing it again another time. That was fun."

Zayn couldn't help but agree. It was fun. And the thought that they could've been caught at any moment just made it all the more exciting. He pulled Niall closer as he stood up, kissing him.

"I'm hungry. What about you?"

Niall nodded, smiling slyly. "Yes, but not the kind you're thinking of."

Zayn's eyes widened and shoved Niall lightly. "Niall!"

He giggled as he tagged along behind Zayn and into the kitchen. Zayn started to make them hot chocolate, putting the kettle on the stove when he heard loud shouting. He looked over at Niall, who looked just as confused as Zayn felt.

"What was that?"

Zayn shrugged. "I don't know. Probably my weird ass neighbor."

"You mean I'm not the only weird neighbor?" Niall joked.

Zayn shook his head, laughing. "No. But you're not nearly as weird as he is. He's, like, borderline pedophile. It's fucking creepy."

"Pedophile? You're comfortable living next to someone who probably wants to rape kids?" Niall asked, incredulous.

Zayn shrugged, getting the mugs ready. "Not really but I'm not moving."

Niall nodded, standing up and wrapping his arms around Zayn's waist, his lips at his neck. "Good. I like being your neighbor. I like it when you crash my parties."

"You do?" Zayn asked. "Why?"

Niall shrugged against Zayn's back. "I don't know. I guess it's because that's where we first met and it was kind of the only place I could talk to you. Even if you were an ass the entire time."

Zayn laughed. "Yeah. Sorry about that. About everything, really. I just didn't want my first year of college to be filled with not only a shitload of homework but with sleepless nights as well, being kept awake by loud rap music and drunk people spilling their beer on my downstairs windows."

Niall smiled. "Am I still ruining your first year of college?"

Zayn shook his head. "No. You're actually making it better. Now, when I'm fried from drawing and doing my psychology homework, I can just turn and kiss my boy."

"Your boy, eh?" Niall smirked, voice light. "I like the sound of that."

Zayn giggled and kissed his lips as the kettle screeched behind him. But it was nowhere near as loud as the screams that pierced the air next door.

  —∞—

 The sound of police sirens in the distance woke Zayn up from his peaceful slumber, Niall's blonde head on his bare chest. He glanced out his window and saw blue and red lights flashing outside. Worried something was wrong, he sat up in bed, Niall's arms going tighter around his waist. Since Christmas was tomorrow and he was going to be coming over anyway, Zayn thought that it would better to just let him sleepover. Something Niall was more than happy to agree to. Zayn had emerged from his shower to find Niall shirtless and wrapped up in the sheets of his bed. He was going to let Niall have the bed and him take the couch but Niall had a look on his face that Zayn couldn't possibly refuse. So he crawled in beside him and went to sleep. Until he was woken up at around one in the morning. He moved the covers aside and crawled out of bed, wincing at Niall's sleepy whine.

"Wassa matter?" He grumbled.

"I don't know." Zayn said, moving closer to the window to look out in only his black boxers. "I'm looking."

Niall nodded into the pillow and pulled the covers tighter around him. "Hurry up. I'm lonely."

Zayn rolled his eyes as he pushed the curtain away from the window. Niall was so dramatic when he was drunk or sleepy it was cute.

There was a cop car outside his neighbor's house, an ambulance parked behind it. Officers were standing around in the yard, a body on a stretcher covered by a white sheet. Someone had died?

Zayn changed his position to get a better look. Someone was seated in the back of the police cruiser and Zayn was willing to bet anything that it was his neighbor. Zayn knew his neighbor could definitely be a pedophile, but a murderer? He never would have guessed.

Some of the officers noticed him watching and he hurried to close the curtain. He was breathing funny as he climbed back into bed beside Niall, wrapping an arm around him. Niall snuggled up to him, placing a chaste kiss on his stomach.

"What's going on out there? What's with the police lights?" Niall questioned.

Zayn shrugged. "I don't know. Someone must have died. There was a body on a stretcher and my neighbor was in the back of the cruiser."

"You think he killed someone?" Niall asked, sitting up slightly.

"I don't know. That's what it looks like." Zayn answered.

"Does he live alone? Who would he have killed?" Niall wondered.

Zayn shook his head, bending down to kiss Niall's head. "I don't know. I thought he lived alone. I never really asked any questions. Go back to sleep now. It's one o'clock. We get to enjoy Christmas soon."

Niall smiled into Zayn's skin. "I already got my gift, though."

Zayn chuckled. "I know. Me too. But Harry and Liam haven't. Louis either."

"Louis' not around much." Niall commented. "I thought he and Harry were together."

Zayn shook his head. "I don't know what's going on with them. Harry hasn't said anything yet but I'm sure he will when he's ready."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then I guess he doesn't want us to know."

"I want people to know about us." Niall told him.

Zayn looked down at him. "You do?"

Niall nodded. "Of course. I'm proud of our relationship. I want people to see how much —"

"How much what, Niall?" Zayn asked.

Niall hesitated, unsure if he should say it. He was afraid that Zayn wouldn't feel the same way because it was awfully soon and it scared him. But Zayn looked down at him, rubbing circles in the dimples on his lower back and one look into his eyes told Niall that he didn't have to worry about a thing. He opened his mouth to speak, the words that came out changing his life forever.

"How much I love you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually, there might be an epilogue. I don't know yet.


End file.
